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[challenge entry] All my body parts,
It was a chillingly cold day in december, when my mother comes home from work, and reliably informs me, as mothers are wont do, that my cousin's lost his arm.
I'm in the middle of a smashing game of sonic the hedgehog, (I'm that young and it was that long ago) so I don't pay too much attention to her.

Turns out the poor twit has lost both arms in a machine breakdown at work. He worked in a septic-tank making factory or something mad that did complicated metalwork, and one of the feeds has stopped feeding a metal pipe out of itself. I'm sure you can guess what happened next.
'Do you reckon there's a blockage? I'll just check'
'AHHH! WTF! FFS! AAH!'

A few years ago I was given 'diluted' cocaine by a doctor to try and diagnose some irritant problem with my sinus'. Turns out they're royally f***ed, and I had an operation to hack out half my nose. Thankfully I didn't end up looking like that god-awful, erm, single-nostrilled woman. I don't think it shows much now, but I still remember going in and having the nurses say, 'Alright, count back from ten'
'10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1. I'm still not unconcious'
'Try it again dear'
' 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1. I think you should give me some mo- '

That's the thrilling story of my body-part-losing exploits.

From the Where Lost Things Go challenge. See all 90 entries (closed)

(ackles I set your baby on fire., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:32, archived)
# wow.
looking down the board, this place has gotten really retarded at night.
(I helped save b3ta! zog why change it now?, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:44, archived)
# Not always.
Sometimes people still post nice pics and it's fun.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:50, archived)
# like this
unshopped pic of my freind

he's terrifying
(I helped save b3ta! homelesssmith www.homelesssmith.com, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:51, archived)
# That goes so well to the music I'm listening to right now.
(Beardy Being a pirate is alright with me., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:04, archived)
# Goes awful to the epsidode of SGC2C Im watching.
UI just realized how much he looks like GOB bluth.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:05, archived)
# I'd say it goes with the red wine though.
(Beardy Being a pirate is alright with me., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:40, archived)
# You'll never get your Uni work done at this rate.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:44, archived)
# I know.
Having to pull another all-nighter and I still keep finding distractions.
(Beardy Being a pirate is alright with me., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:54, archived)
# I've come to realise that I LOVE pissing in my garden.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:52, archived)
# I think I might cook a lasagne tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:48, archived)
# That'd be nice.
Vegetarian or meat? How many different cheeses?
(I helped save b3ta! S Snail wore out his welcome with random precision, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:51, archived)
# Meat, and I'll probably just go with cheddar and parmesan.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:53, archived)
# Know what goes well with lasagne?
Curly fries. Don't know if you get them down your way.

(I helped save b3ta! S Snail wore out his welcome with random precision, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 3:56, archived)
# Really? I should try lanasge and curly fries in the near future.
Theres an arbys ner by will there curly fries do?
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:07, archived)
# IM THUNKING ARBYS.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:08, archived)
#
cock
(I helped save b3ta! homelesssmith www.homelesssmith.com, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:28, archived)
# Winner!
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:33, archived)
# well, that's no fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:01, archived)
# Oh come on.
Please. Only older users get to post like retards today.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:06, archived)
# is it a special day?
(Beardy Being a pirate is alright with me., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:19, archived)
# ITS A SPECIAL DAY LIKE I'M A SPECIAL PERSON.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:33, archived)
# IT'S SPELT SPESHULL!
(Beardy Being a pirate is alright with me., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:39, archived)
# THERE'S ALWAYS HELP IN THE KITCHEN WHEN MEATBALLS ARE ON THE MENU
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:43, archived)
# That is so fucking freaky
I always make fun of my best friend for the time I left him stirring meatballs on the hob, and one of them flung out of the saucepan.
(Beardy Being a pirate is alright with me., Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:53, archived)
# Totally.
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 4:33, archived)