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[challenge entry] Don't tell me you haven't been that desperate before



From the If advertisments were honest challenge. See all 785 entries (closed)

(Scary, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:05, archived)
# not my scene really
i prefer calpol
(LlamaPHIL, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:06, archived)
# mmm calpol
a sweet, sweet elixir of love.

and codeine.
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:09, archived)
# Ah the crunch of crystalised sugar
whence one opens some Calpol!

;)
(I helped save b3ta! LittlePixel, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:11, archived)
# Class A
strawberry smoothies :o)
(I helped save b3ta! FlanFlinger 🥧, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:13, archived)
# my contact lens case does that too
"deposited minerals" it sounds like.
sound very crunchy

and then i'm meant to put the fuckers in my eyes?
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:14, archived)
# get yersel' lasered
like wot I did over a year ago.....s'fab!
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:18, archived)
# but that kind of creeps me out
and i'll have to go to college wearing those weird goggles.
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:20, archived)
# cheap joke...
actually they're called glasses
(LlamaPHIL, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:22, archived)
# nah
those big, swimming goggle type things.

i know they exist because i saw whats-her-name on "sex and the city" wear them.

such an acute source of factual evidence
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:25, archived)
# Eh? No you don't.
You have to wear the alien eye covers at night for sleepage, during the day things are normal. As long as you sleep as much as poss during the first 24 hours after zappage you should be ok.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:26, archived)
# Would love to.
You paying?
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke Of Your Fingers feels like an old man... mmm, tasty!, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:33, archived)
# Yes, thanks.
Still got bloody 9 months left to go. S'great when you ain't got a job....honest.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:36, archived)
# Nae fucken' chance
I know far too many ophthalmic surgeons to trust the fuckers!
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:39, archived)
# gwan!
You know you want to - think of the advantages! I went from -5 to -0.25 in just over 30 seconds....
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 14 Jan 2003, 23:43, archived)