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# wow, for a second I doubted you were a real alchemist
but now... well, it's clear you are. :D
(I helped save b3ta! hexachordal la la la la la, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:11, archived)
# actually I cut'npasted that
however, the real info is that the metal cane be cutt wifth spruce tree barke and brewed to make a tonic that will assuredly cure the most debilitating of ailements such as dropsy, falling disorder, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:14, archived)
# what
no leeches?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:19, archived)
# leeches are the devils work!
it is cupping that you need, to draw out the ill humours.

and maybe some trepanning.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:22, archived)
# i am afflicted
with black bile. would cupping aid in this?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:25, archived)
# most definately
unless you are afflicted withe a swollen spleen, in which case it may kill.

best to simply administer a poultice of sulphur and ...er... wine gums.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:49, archived)
# pfff
wine gums? with sulphur? surely you mean goose grease and horse apples? why, sirrah, 'twould appear that you would wish me to die of a ruptur'd spleen...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 28 May 2007, 2:56, archived)