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From the Computer Errors challenge. See all 396 entries (closed)

(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)

I'm an office professional

and so far today the best thing I've done is make this cup of hot chocolate *points* with far too much powder.

Edit- Woo, by the way! Forgot that bit.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:21, archived)

I've set up a generic user account on five terminal servers

and nothing else. Literally nothing.

They can't exactly expect me to do anything while they consider whether they want to keep me employed or not.

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)

*holds out hot chocolate* want some?

*puts feet up* I can't believe it's almost the weekend already.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)

I do fancy hot chocolate actually.

Sadly we have only coffee.

I have to buy curtain hooks today. Isn't my life exciting?

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)

I've got shitloads of the fucking things.

Bane of my life- For some reason they get out of the box and go walkies around the bedroom.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:26, archived)

be careful, they may attack you in your sleep!

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)

*new fear*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:28, archived)

it could happen

be sure to sleep with an emergency supply of curtains

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:39, archived)

Odd.

We bought a new curtain pole, which is lovely.

We also bought a set of "fully lined, excellent condition curtains" which turned out to be uber-thin and too short for our windows.

We're putting them up anyway.

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)

thank fuck the new flat comes with the living room curtains

I dread to think how much it'd cost me (the front window is a massive bay thing)

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:28, archived)

Yeah we have net curtains in the living room which are fine

but some idiot installed wooden slat venetian blinds in the bedroom, which smack against the window at night in the wind.

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:29, archived)

Oh god, I can imagine.

Venetian blinds always look wrong in a house if you ask me, unless it's the study.

We've got a stupid roman blind in the living room of where we live at the moment, and it's such a difficult arse.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:31, archived)

What's the difference

between a Roman blind and a Venetian blind anyway?

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:32, archived)

Roman blind is the kind of folded material swaggy thing

And venetian is slats, I think.

Hang on.

Venetian: www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50019129/Wood_Venetian_Blinds.jpg

Roman: www.joanscurtains-blinds.co.uk/images/Roman%20Blind%20Bay.jpg

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:33, archived)

Only one falls into the canals

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fross Read your email on, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:35, archived)

Hahahahaha!

Oh very good.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:36, archived)

Thank you, I'll be here all week*

Try the veal!

* or at least all day as the boss isn't in hurrah!

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fross Read your email on, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:40, archived)

thats more than I've done today =/

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AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)

I have configured a Brocade Fibre Channel Switch,

EMC Clariion, and two Dell 2950's for SQL Server Clustering.

Now i am going to do nothing else all day.

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)

Fair play to you.

Y'see that's what I want to be doing - not being the arse-end of a project involving nice servers and switches. My job is to set up users. Wow.

It's almost as if I've never configured and built an entire domain by myself before.

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:25, archived)

Just start ASSimiliating stuff

Thats what i did - thinking about it i would prefer to be setting up users sometimes....the world seems a much nicer place doing that.

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)

It can be good

but I'm soon to be fired (probably) for "not taking a pro-active approach in my work".

How the hell am I supposed to be pro-active in setting up user accounts? Give them a cup of fucking coffee?

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:28, archived)

You grab their hands

and type their username and password in for them. Like a puppetmaster.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:30, archived)

I want to be a puppetmaster.

I'd take control of my managers and force them to smash their craniums in with their keyboards.

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wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:31, archived)

Pie Jesu Domine, Dona Eis Requiem

*smack*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:32, archived)

you'll have to use your wicked mind powers to look into the future

here, it's always like "oh yes, and by the way, 3 new guys started working in product management today, did you already set up their machines and user accounts?"
how can I fucking know if they don't tell me beforehand? *grumblemumble*

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pzyko Query failed., Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:35, archived)

I've pissed about allowing external pop3 on a server at a remote site

and read b3ta
Now i am going to go and buy some black trousers.

Work is HELL!

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Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:34, archived)

Lucky bugger

I've done nothing but "Test" other people's program for 3 weeks now...
At least they gave me cake

(FTWinston, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 14:04, archived)

have chips with that

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gravytrain, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)

As if.

I had me rice cakes and beef (I've had this for lunch all week, I'm craving it)

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)

Ugh, not good

I made a Lemsip, and all the paracetamol sank to the bottom. I got a mugfull of lovely blackcurrant and one mouthful of gritty bitter painkiller :-(

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)

Oh no, it's excellent.

It's ridiculously expensive hot chocolate that we're meant to keep for when clients come in for big meetings.

Mua hah hah.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)

professional what?

I did a little code admittedly, but spent the rest of the time checking WoW forums and testing my new monitor which just arrived - 22 inches of meaty goodness!

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fross Read your email on, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:33, archived)

layabout, really.

Well, technically customer services. I can call myself professional apparently, as I've actually got qualifications in it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:34, archived)

Does that mean you make professionally good hot chocolate?

in which case I'll take a cup too :D

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fross Read your email on, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:42, archived)

*service with a smile*

*and some e coli*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:47, archived)

*smiles*

*drinks*
*dies*

now i think you're a cleaner.
like Leon. :)

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fross Read your email on, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:48, archived)

ahaha

That gets a very hearty *click* from me!

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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Jun 2007, 13:36, archived)