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# it was from an article titled thus:
original phrase:
[large corporation] lassoes nearly 5000 customers in first quarter

suggested new phrase:
[large corporation] loses nearly 5000 customers in first quarter

which I would say is a fairly major error of comprehension
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:26, archived)
# *massages bridge of nose*
Have you got anything to hit her in the face with? Light plastic chair?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:28, archived)
# fuck that's retarded
still, I suppose it's exactly retarded in that it's precisely the opposite of what was meant

there's some value in that maybe

(straws, clutching)

how much are these twits being paid to fail in the subtle understanding of basic English?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:28, archived)
# £27,000
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:31, archived)
# O_O
then I presume that this job actually requires some level of qualification above nvq 1 in opening envelopes

I read about too many mongs getting paid too much to do their jobs badly and it's usually followed with how other people who do their jobs properly fix the mess
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:36, archived)
# this is why my company makes no money
because it pays idiots totally disproportionate salaries

*includes self in analysis*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:39, archived)
# introspection is pointless
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:41, archived)
# oh well, she sounds like she's got a great career in management ahead of her
salary will be doubled within 5 years...
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:43, archived)
# *nods*
*gestures to self sorting out yet another overpaid client's muck up.*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:40, archived)
# *offers hug and portion of impending breakfast*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:44, archived)
# Oooh yes please.
I might go on a cookie hunt soon. There's bound to be some, first day of the week in an office with about 70% women.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:45, archived)
# makes note to save some of the beans/egg/bacon/lorne sausage/tomato mixture
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:48, archived)
# Bokeage
bleurgh beans.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:49, archived)
# :(
more beans for me!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:50, archived)
# Christ.
I DREAM of earning that much.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:38, archived)
# you'd do a much better job of it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:41, archived)
# Well if an opening ever arises
do let me know, I'm good with grammar (well, essentially. I had a bit of a problem with possessive apostrophes due to my stupid primary school)....

I bet you need qualifications though, yes?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:42, archived)
# haha - this company is run almost entirely on nepotism
I'm so totally not qualified for my job
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:45, archived)
# \o/
yay!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:46, archived)
# heh
I just worked it out - there's:

me
my sister
my girlfriend
my girlfriend's friend
my sister's friend
my sister's friend's brother
my sister's friend's brother's girlfriend
my sister's friend's ex-boyfriend
my sister's friend's ex-boyfriend's sister

I think that's it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:50, archived)
# that must make going to work after an argument interesting
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:54, archived)
# Quick, marry me or something.
Don't worry, you don't have to consummate.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:47, archived)
# Woo
And a small yay

So how did she get the job?

Ning awl BTW
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:30, archived)
# nice tits?
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:31, archived)
# oh ho
Proper interview technique
1. lace fingers together
2. place hands behind head
3. Walk forward
4. if elbows touch wall first - fail
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:33, archived)
# but what about the version of this for women?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:40, archived)
# This got an office lol
Followed by 10 minutes of despairing for the state of humanity.

I'll do the proofreading for you! I'll charge £5k, and do it in my spare time.

It's how I spend my evenings anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Thinker, Tue 27 May 2008, 10:49, archived)