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# I'M THINKING OF GETTING BACK INTO THE LIFE-COACHING GAME.
DO SOME PUSHUPS AND GIVE ME TEN BUCKS.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:15, archived)
# One of my clients is a corporate coach.
Ten US bucks would buy you just over a minute of their time. Seriously.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:18, archived)
# Yeah, I managed to get a few jobs a while back
Consultancy fees are fucking great if you can get them.

It's hard to get more than a couple of days work for any one business at those rates though - the expectation is you'll fix things pretty much instantly.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:21, archived)
# I GUESS THE WORLD JUST ISN'T READY FOR MY SHIFT-KEY ATTITUDE
My perfect job would be like Kato in the Pink Panther movies.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:25, archived)
# I'd be the best kato ever.
FUCK YOU, INTERNET.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:13, archived)
# seriously, wanting a corporate coach would be the time i kill myself.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:31, archived)
# You wouldn't be sorry for long if you hired me
the only catch is that I'm not moving to canada
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:35, archived)
# i'm a complete screwup, but i know they're nonsense.
i've done corporate, it's more insipidly predictable than victorian dancing.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:42, archived)
# Name one aspect of life that isn't (except maybe being in love).
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:50, archived)
# driving a moped while drunk with your feet trapped in big glass jars of mayonnaise.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:52, archived)
# I predict a crash and I also guarantee some ankle lacerations.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:54, archived)
# luckily there'll be plenty of mayonnaise about.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 5:56, archived)
# INSIPIDLY PREDICTABLE.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:10, archived)