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if they're the ones which say 'sexy ladies in ROTHERHAM want your cock tonight' they're lying

there are no sexy ladies in rotherham

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:22, archived)

ahahaha

I often wonder how many people actually click those things. Surely someone that thick would not be able to use a computer in the first place...

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We are the lemon irked your craw on, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:23, archived)

There's plenty of thick people that use computers*, you should check out this dating site for examples

_{*they're all coding in C# ;)}

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:26, archived)

>:(

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We are the lemon irked your craw on, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:31, archived)

I have a friend who so far has emailed me no less than 4 "I want to get back at my cheating ex" links

people that stupid exist.
and they've worked out how to use an on button

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:27, archived)

it's one which reflects the shallow, callous, selfish nature of human beings

and it is also a prime example of the lack of education and respect for intellect which is present in this country.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:24, archived)

*starts up the eugenics machine*

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We are the lemon irked your craw on, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:25, archived)

I need my own little island from which to take over the world

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:29, archived)

you and me both mate

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:31, archived)

You want some good advice?

No? Good. Here it is.

Get yourself some new clobber ( not suggesting anything is wrong with what you have, but new clothes is good for the confidence ) Tart yourself up and get out in the club scene with whatever mates you can gather up that don't scream "CHESS CLUB" by their image.
And GET THE FUCK OFF B3TA for a while. You won't get a relationship by sitting at your console and trust me, if you get a lady interested in you she'll soon be off when she realises you live on the internet.
Aussie women have the morals of alley cats in my experience of them ( which is quite a lot ) but you cant play the game from your computer. This game does not work like that.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:34, archived)

haha, though this is a tad more blunt than i'd have phrased it

its absolutely right.
especiall the new clothes bit.

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:37, archived)

Does go to vinnies and buy stuff count as new?

I'm thinking pinstripe suit and a mac.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:41, archived)

whats vinnies?

pinstripe suit and a mac is the one of the coolest outfits going.

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:43, archived)

um St Vincent de Paul, it's a charity, they have opportunity shops

sell clothes house hold items.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)

I got a 1960s Armani/Cerruti suit from a charity shop for £70 once.

There are sometimes treasures to be found.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:56, archived)

best find of mine was a Daks suit in my exact size for a fiver

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:00, archived)

So I'm clubbing alone then?

And get offline? but then I'd have to do some work :(

to tell the truth, i'm more bitter and twisted about the shit that people have put on their profiles, no wonder they're single.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:40, archived)

On a note of seriousness in all this, a general smartening of appearance really will do wonders.

you don't need to shave the beard off or cut the hair short but if you go to a decent barbers and get them tidied up and some new duds, it'll really do the trick. nothing improves your confidence like looking spiffy.

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)

You should not even be looking at that shit.

You have to consider the sort of people that would sign up to those sites. It's like Depressives anonymous.
Get to the pubs, make friends with the bar folk. They go out clubbing after hours and shag like fucking rabbits ( well they certainly do in London ). Latch on to someone like that.
I'm sure you are not socially retarded so make the effort.
Also, even though I have a beard like Grizzly Adams right now. Get a shave and a haircut.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:48, archived)

it's depressives, bogans and fuckwits

and I like my beard, i do at least put the effort into trimming it neatly now.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:53, archived)

Oh you!

I call shenanigans on your summary of all that is good with Aussie chicks!
I should know, I am one ;)

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Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)

Oh pish.

A man is lucky to be able to walk from Shepherd's Bush to Hammersmith on a Saturday night without being raped by some antipodean chick who has consumed more alcohol than said man is ever likely to see in a lifetime.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:53, archived)

so what you're saying is: poms can't drink

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:59, archived)

Only like human beings.

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:05, archived)

I believe

a flounce may be in order here...

/don't drink at all myself
//am entertaining enough without it ;)

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Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:46, archived)

pay him no attention

he's just another angry alocholic tracer!

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Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 15:43, archived)

*deflates blow-up doll*

fucks off to tailors*

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Elvis impersonator, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:48, archived)

'Get free sex in Milton Keynes'

I wouldn't go to Milton Keynes if it was offering me a free cock cannon and passage to the moon!

(Jeru War and Piss, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:25, archived)

i wonder if these website deliberately choose scummy places

i swear that I once saw "Fuck lonely housewives in Woking"

i can't say I've ever been less aroused.

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:33, archived)

My sister lives in Milton Keynes.

albeit on the outskirts but she has an MK post code. She's in a quite affluent area and her house is worth a hell of a lot. It's far from scummy. I know MK well and like any large urban area there are good and bad bits.
There is not a house worth less than a million in my village but we are still 10 minutes away from chavs

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:44, archived)

well yeah, my home address is ten minutes away from woking. nice sub-urban middle class area, next village over is windelsham, the richest village per capita in the UK.

but Woking is still next door. urgh... woking....

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 13:51, archived)

haha

"Bang in the middle of the Cheshire golden triangle, this is by far the pushiest town in the country. It punches way above the weight of the area, with prices on average 207% higher, and locals drink more champagne than anywhere else in the UK"

is how my town is described by the Telegraph. :D

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:00, archived)

haha so you've got all the footballers in your area eh? :/

(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:09, archived)

aye :D

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Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 14:13, archived)