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# This is good inspiration for the first disciplinary hearing of my pretty lengthy working life tomorrow morning (although arguably not as good as a decent night's sleep would have been)
The charges are:

1) poor timekeeping (they got me there)
2) smelling of alcohol (serves me right for sleeping in my clothes and not washing)
3) 'unusual behaviour' towards colleagues.

wtf? How does one defend oneself against unspecified accusations of 'unusual behaviour?' (I really don't know what that means)
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 1:59, archived)
# Print yourself
a doctors note claiming childhood trauma brought on by an electric sander, 2 goats and a bottle of rolacola =)
(I helped save b3ta! Steerable_forehead Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration,don't fail me now, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:03, archived)
# Ta.
It's a million-to-one shot, but it just might work...
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:07, archived)
# "it's perfectly usual for me"
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:07, archived)
# Well, this is it, y'see.
Been perfectly fine for five years under one boss, she leaves, new boss comes in, suddenly I'm 'unusual'. Well, I've been pretty usual here for quite a while...

Deep down inside, I'm one of those evil enemies who never even WANTED to go to work. Unless it was a laff.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:11, archived)
# some new bosses implement pointless new crap just because they can
some pick a lapdog

some pick a scapegoat.

Ask them to specifically define the unusual behaviour and explain how this unusual behaviour coincides with the presence of a new boss and remind them that everything that is being said is being documented

then kill everyone.

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:14, archived)
# Unfortunately,
I'm taking your advice to a certain extent.

That extent happens to be 100%.

(Although astonishingly, my employers' code of conduct actually has a clause that explicitly forbids carrying firearms in the workplace. Wow.)
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:20, archived)
# honestly man
the "unusual behavior" needs to be explicitly described.

and then you can decide during this meeting if you find it defamatory or not.

Is this the result of an attempt of constructive dismissal against a person who the new manager has taken an active, selective, personal and deliberate dislike over.

making them sweat a bit, making it look strongly like a personal victimisation is clearly ongoing and a hostile working environment is being facilitated by innapropriate commentary that would inevitably effect morale and effectiveness of the team, which you're part of, after all. An effective manager doesn't fester negative employee relationships by passing surrepticious commentary about any behaviour they find contrary to their unexpressed expectations, they approach such issues directly and appropriately with the individuals concerned before it reaches the point where formal documented meetings have to be held

unless of course you come in pissed up all the time and puke in photocopiers, then you're probably fucked :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:36, archived)
# Yep, all good advice. Many thanks for it.
This is journalism we're talking about. I've good a good, solid understanding of defamation/slander/libel, but nowhere near as good an understanding as the bloke who's made the unqualified remark in the letter.

Basically, it's an attempt to put a foot on my head and assert 'authority', even though I've thrived without active 'authority' from above for years.

I don't think I want a job where someone's determined to exercise fine control over me all the time. Not now. I'm 36, ffs.

There was a wave of redundancies two weeks ago. I'm really wishing I'd accepted the pisspoor payout, cos it would've been better than this.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 3:00, archived)
# WHIP IT OUT AND GO SHOW THE NEIGHBOURS
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:16, archived)
# As you wish.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:32, archived)
# Is that Vimod on the bench?
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:36, archived)
# look at the forehead on that thing, is that normal?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:36, archived)
# all babbies have gushy rubbery heads
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:49, archived)
# DISGUSTING.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:53, archived)
# but great
for bouncing things off of
(I helped save b3ta! Steerable_forehead Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration,don't fail me now, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 2:54, archived)
# or
for bouncing off of things
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 3:29, archived)
#
 

 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 3:37, archived)
# D-:
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 3:38, archived)