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# I'm thinking about making some coffee, toast and a big fuckoff omelet

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:22, archived)
# Make sure they're fresh fuckoffs not that tinned stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:23, archived)
# the dried ones are OK - as long as you soak them for long enough
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:27, archived)
# Yes
You get all that lovely fuckoff juice afterwards too!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:28, archived)
# Come off it.
Nothing beats a Tuscan sun-dried fuckoff.
It said so in The Observer.

*EDIT* Like I'd know. I've had 1/3 of a Farley's Rusk for breakfast, washed down with half a tin of last night's Scrumpy Jack.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:38, archived)
# I spoilt for choice
I got to the fantastic fuckoff stall outside the Untied Nations building. They have a vast array of fuckoffs from all over the world!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:42, archived)
# Oh, the humanity!
All manner of fuckoff, from street-level to Michelin-starred, from every corner of the globe!
*starves deliberately*
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:45, archived)
# Personally I'm a fan of the range of fair trade fuckoff available to the public these days.
Particularly the Bonos and Geldoff variaties that are just coming into season.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:48, archived)
# The new-season Geri Haliwell fuckoffs are very reasonable at Asda at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:51, archived)
# I have no time to soak my fuckoffs long enough

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:49, archived)
# THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM MEDIOCRE - YOU JUST DON'T THINK AHEAD
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:51, archived)
# They say pickled fuckoffs keep for years.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:57, archived)
# put chives in the omelet - that will make you look sophisticated n that.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:24, archived)
# Love the sig
Have you thought oh hosting a charity night in the aid of homeless imigrants?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:27, archived)
# I'm biting my lip over it
the houseguest is only for a couple of days and is Mrs S's god-daughter whom she hasn't seen for about 10 years. She is 19, and despite apparently being in education, thinks that talking about tattoos and not pronouncing words properly is cool. The BNP revelation came out last night, luckily before I got home from work. DOESN'T SHE REALISE THAT I LISTEN TO RADIO 4 FOR GODS SAKE!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:30, archived)
# Did you "tut" at her?
I am a radio 4 listener, and I know the power of a good stern "tut" maybe followed by a shake of the head for emphasis.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:32, archived)
# Maybe even a stern letter!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:36, archived)
# Being a Parish Councillor I know the value of a stern letter as we get them weekly
invariably 30% will say...

"While I am NOT the kind of person who likes to complain. I feel it is my DUTY to point out the disgraceful state of THE BINS! The bins are a shocking mess, they disgust sane minded people and terrify small children, not to mention the Rats and Badgers!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:43, archived)
# NO-ONE TOLD US THERE WOULD BE FISH IN THE SEA
THE CHILDREN WERE STARTLED
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:45, archived)
# And thems forrins coming over here stealing out fruit picking jobs!:O
EDIT: hahaha. I remember some of these. I could add a few to that.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:46, archived)
# It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.
I had to secretly try and grope the stewadesses for a WHOLE NINE HOURS
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:52, archived)
# now then - your average forrin would have known this
due to them being worldly wise
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:53, archived)
# TRY?
Try not. Do.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 10:04, archived)
# Ha ha :D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:56, archived)
# Well the Bin family at no 47 are a rowdy lot!:O
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:45, archived)
# especially Bin Laden
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:54, archived)
# Ba dum tish
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:59, archived)
# hahaha
I eat Parish Councillors for breakfast.

Fuck 'em and their bus stop whines. I'm busy.

So busy, in fact, I can mysteriously find time to post drivel on b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 10:02, archived)
# r 4 strn txt n that
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:43, archived)
# I found this out after she had sloped off to bed
she is utterly tedious to speak to

GOD I'M SO OLD. but right.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:40, archived)
# Well you could always make her feel and home and change your username to Griffin Savalas
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:34, archived)
# I changed it from Griffin Saver
in case anyone thought I wanted to conserve him in any way
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:38, archived)
# Hmm

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:30, archived)
# although putting eggs in will definately make you seem like you know what you are doing
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:42, archived)
# Don't worry, I...eggs?

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:53, archived)
# crunchy chickens
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:55, archived)
# Less thinking... Get to it!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:27, archived)
# I got me some coffee
that will do for now...omelet imminent
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 9:31, archived)