The Captn's CROSSWORD



Welcome to the, frankly, fucking brilliant crossword.
Copy and print out the grid and questions.

For the thickies;
Right click on the grid image, select [save image] Open image in something easy like Word, then copy and paste the questions below under it and print it out on some paper. Duh!

The completed grid will appear here on the date of this Calendar event, which is also the same day as our bash. b3ta.com/calendar/event/19691 So bookmark it because it will be gone tomorrow.
(This only applies if you are reading this today (15th August)


Right let’s get one thing straight. If I get any gazes asking for clues I will delete them all. Unless it’s someone really awesome like cr3. Oh or a girl. But not the fat ones please. I may take bribes.

When you have finished the crossword, you will notice that some of the letters appear in yellow squares. Now, if you take these letters and jumble them up, it will spell out a clue about the very nature of the crossword which I guess is pointless as that might have helped out a bit at the beginning. Never mind. The first person to work out the clue and post it below will win a prize worth more than life itself.

I will personally design a certificate with [your name] on it. Not just any old poxy paper certificate, but a digital one your can display in your profile with pride and a smug feeling that you are a fucking smart arse.


ACROSS
1. Sounds like this horse doctor is from hell yet so commonly used. (9)
5. Football team is missing a player. (4)
8. Product of internet bullying. (8)
10. Person showing manly qualities. (8)
11. b3tan located in metal works without a drink. (7)
13. Reproduction soldiers made to look antique. (3,5,7)
16. I fucking punch yours! Duck! (4)
19. Body part. (3)
20. Body part. (3)
22. *bends over backwards* (6)
25. A short place to drive down. (2)
26. Mail makes you think someone has carked it. Racist! (5,6)
29. A huge glass dildo is on the shelf, unused for it’s original purpose. (8)
30. Greek foodlike character moves to western America. (4)
32. Poles end up going down hill. (5)
33. Add to port to protect your art. (5)
34. Fat bird’s tits keep banging together. (contains lols) (10)
36. Sounds like a fat b3tan has just left the seventh eating establishment. (9)
39. ^this. (4)
40. Bird used for a quick imbibing sesh. (5)
44. Gagging for it. Tall ones are best. (4)
45. Clunge appears in accountant’s chip. (7)
47. Huge bar of chocky has little bits added like times. (4,5)
48. If reversed it sounds like I get paid. (2)
49. Kill of that celebrity that used to be fit before surgery. (6)
51. Poor Richard is what it is. (4)
52. Hot beverage removed from Hackney Carriage. (4)
54. You hit me, I’ll fucking well hit you back! (12)
55. Fat. (4)
56. The colour of the average b3tan’s eyes the day after a bash. (3)

DOWN
2. Queen taken backwards. (5)
3. I can see the outline of your pubes and tiny crack. (8)
4. Voice. (3)
6. I take a dump every day at 8:30. (7)
7. Now he knew how to run an orgy. (5)
9. (see QOTW/offtopic) (4,6)
12. Part of a song that makes you exclaim. (5)
14. Tits, rain, loan? Fiddle with it. (12)
15. I’m a little backward lady. (2)
17. These scummy chavs should take off their hats. (5,4)
18. With the king removed it looked the French thing had a fit. (6,7)
21. Tiled the toilet wall, but used the wrong mix. (5)
23. Welshmen lifts this before sex. (4)
24. What sort of fucking question is this? (7)
27. These Dutchies are very small yet they get up a few snatches. (5,4)
28. The princess is dead. (6)
31. The dog’s bollocks. (5)
35. Like 47? I’d rather it had no bits. (9)
37. A misprint on the map? Type “y” (10)
38. Just a little bit or some exercise? (2)
39. Apart from booze, food, sex, drugs and moer food, this is also on my mind. (7)
41. Sounds like the lower part of a band. *snorts* (4,4)
42. Quo Bile!
43. Seriously nice when adding pussy. (5)
46. It started with a nork. (5)
47. A penis can be made into this. (5)
50. Muslim cleric accidentally cut his arse open with the catchy part. (4)
53. That’s it It ends here with something missing. (3)

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Shit, 15th Aug, I'm gonna be somewhere else on that day.

( turb0t, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Me too

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:52, Reply)