b3ta.com challenge: food weapons
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food weapons

With Milkshake being classed as a deadly weapon, we thought we\'d look at other food stuffs in a different light. Banana guns, yoghurt pot grenades, thermo nuclear cheesecake. get to it.

(, Sat 25 May 2019, 7:50)
Pages: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (or see the latest posts)
# hello b3ta... been a little while

(, Fri 21 Jun 2019, 10:34, More)
# Something from the archives
The Battenberg Trebuchet was developed in 1312 as a means of besieging heretics who refused to accept the Treatise of Nyom-de-Lyons. It didn't become obsolete until the introduction of gunpowder. Several attempts were made to produce a battering ram based on the Battenberg cake, but designers failed to agree on a suitable punny name (Batterberg? Battening Ram?). It did, however, lead to the development of an impact-resistant marzipan which is in use to this day in body armour.


The Muffin Onager is considered one of the oldest and most versatile cake-based siege weapons in the world. Capable of propelling muffins, cupcakes and even fairy cakes several hundred metres, this weapon caused devastating crumb-based injuries. It was theorised that a slightly overbaked blueberry muffin could penetrate a wooden stockade wall at 100 metres.


The Swiss Roll Ballista (the "Rollista Helvetica") was developed by the Romans just prior to the Siege of Alesia in 52BC. It was reknowned for durability and tolerance, capable of shooting vanilla, raspberry and chocolate swiss rolls of varying quality, from Tesco Value up to Sainsburys "Taste the difference". However, siege engineers had a saying : "Kipling Detesta Matribus" ("Mr. Kipling is the dread of mothers"). Even today in some parts of France the Swiss Roll is shunned.


(, Tue 28 May 2019, 19:48, More)
# Shaken not stirred

(, Sat 25 May 2019, 22:40, More)
# He'll tear your Roule apart.

Yeah, yeah. It was used as a weapon in the 3rd one.
(, Tue 28 May 2019, 12:59, More)
#

(, Sun 26 May 2019, 12:05, More)
# I'd buy that for a dollar

(, Sun 26 May 2019, 10:38, More)
#

(, Mon 27 May 2019, 22:05, More)
# You think that's pork you're eating now?

(, Tue 28 May 2019, 10:20, More)
# What sauce, etc.

(, Sun 26 May 2019, 14:40, More)
# ...

(, Tue 28 May 2019, 20:02, More)
#

(, Sat 22 Jun 2019, 4:05, More)
#

(, Mon 27 May 2019, 19:41, More)
# 'Eh, Gringo!'

(, Mon 27 May 2019, 15:11, More)
# Captain Howdy made me do it

(, Sat 25 May 2019, 15:39, More)
# pea

(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:35, More)
# a salt and battery disturbing the plaice

(, Sat 1 Jun 2019, 0:29, More)
# A Salt With A Deadly Weapon

(, Fri 31 May 2019, 20:06, More)
# Exceedingly good assimilations

(, Tue 28 May 2019, 14:13, More)
# "Imperial walkers on the north ridge!"

(, Sat 25 May 2019, 15:16, More)
# Have a hambo

(, Sat 25 May 2019, 9:25, More)
Pages: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (or see the latest posts)