It isn't so much
that you feel no-one cares about you. That would be simple, and a hug would cure it, as it does in teenage angst. Depression bends logic, which is why it is so hard to understand. You hear people say they care about you; but the person they care about is the facade you have been putting up; but it isn't you. They like the person you try to be just fine. The one that jokes, sings, makes fucking videos whatever. And you want to be that person too. But you aren't.
People love what you might be. Not who you are.
(
TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 2:26,
Share,
Reply)
this exactly.
i have suffered with depression for years, it's a strange beast, even I don't understand it, it consumes you and the facade that comes up is a way of "self protection" you do tend to think nobody cares, it's dark.
(
skeltonator Needs some new daps., Sun 25 Sep 2011, 3:46,
Share,
Reply)
I suppose that is a more accurate description.
I've been suffering for a while, but only recently been diagnosed, fortunately it's not too bad and I can cope with it most of the time.
But, excluding my doctor, there's only one person who I've actually told and I don't think I could cope so well if I didn't have her to talk to. With everyone else I just pretend everything is ok, but it's getting harder and harder to do that.
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 20:37, Share, Reply)
What's worse is when you're open and honest about what's 'wrong' with you and explain yourself honestly in an effort for them to understand what's going on a bit better. Being reassured they're there for you and will help.
But you're hypomanic. Everything's great when you're fun to be around, albeit a 'little bit bonkers', unpredictable and 'quirky'.
When you hit the pits of hellish depression, they just go away and leave, fed up with you being so down. Even your best friend in the world goes away. Because not even they can cope with your pain and suffering. But they expect you to cope with it. They get furiously mad and angry if you even dare to anything to hurt yourself, let alone when you finally attempt suicide.
Coming from a Bipolar sufferer (amongst my other vast collection of psych issues) who has recently had my best friend of almost 10 years give up on me. You are fully aware that people care. You are fully aware that people will hurt. But when they give up on you, when they don't want to put up with the hurt you're causing in life, who are they to deny you the peace which death can bring to everyone?
(
Bathory, Sat 1 Oct 2011, 16:03,
Share,
Reply)