Ignorance"A girl who used to work for me believed that saveloys are made from fish because 'you get them from the fish shop'." Says Richard Mcbeef. He goes on to say "I was getting on for 40 before I became aware that medical doctors don't all have doctorates."
Tell us about your own embarrassing ignorance or that of others.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2016, 8:36)
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Squatter was in a terrible position.He was in Bahrain, which is a pretty bloody place to be. And there was this ant, which had only one leg and only one eye, and it was about two miles away from Squatter. So, a pretty bloody menacing position for Squatter, who was equipped only with, erm, you know, a hydrogen bomb, erm, six grenades, and, erm, a few rifles.
And this bloody ant, one eye, one leg, was advancing towards Squatter at about-, oh, I'd say at about, er, a mile every century, you know. Really speeding up. I think the animal was on drugs. Or heat, yes, as you may say. And Squatter, with his extraordinary calm, took it very smoothly. And do you know what he did?
Nothing.
He immediately did nothing.
And this stupified the ant. Stopped in its tracks. Didn't move an inch for about, um, three and a half years, yes. But still Squatter was very much aware of the problem of the ant, with all of one leg and all of one eye, advancing towards him. So he took up, you know, a strategic position with about five thousand men on one side and seven thousand men on the other side, all equipped with, er, various kinds of guns and so on. The ant was, er, fairly pinpointed. But what was odd was the ant understood Squatter. The ant realised he was up against somebody as good as-, as good as he was. Equals in their struggle, yes. So Squatter, with a tremendous display of courage, put up his hands and surrendered.
And the ant, five years laters, yes, five years laters, crept into the, er, hole, and Squatter was gone.
And this is the extraordinary thing about Squatter: he was never there when he was wanted. And Squatter told me later that, ah, he'd gone because he'd had to go. But after that day, he never paid much attention to insects.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 15 Feb 2016, 21:15,
4 replies)
What a fucking cunt.(, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 8:24, closed)
Nurse!Derek & Clive's worst sketch :(
(, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 12:46, closed)
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