They Dwell in the Dark
For years my sweet mother keep me in pant-wetting fear of The Beasts That Dwell Below.

These monstrous animals, they came out of night from their dirty, labyrinthine lairs: hairy horrors, they had massive, beastly ears and huge, leaping limbs and evil, glowing eyes and two HUGE TEETH better to eat LITTLE BOYS!

Aaaaaaa!

Apparently this description was missing a few key factors, but mummy dearest decided they were too funny to correct; that they were a) small, b) vegetarian and c) cute.

Yep. Bunny rabbits. Thanks mum.

The truth might never have been uncovered, had my primary school teacher not - in all her innocence - told me that I was such a good little boy, she'd let me play with her bunny.

Apparently, she'd never seen such undiluted terror on an infant, and it took her 3 hours to coax my trembling, urine soaked self out from behind stationary cupboard - much to the unkind amusement of the rest of the class, I might add.

Yeah, my mum defo made me gay.
(IChewCandlewax, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 15:35, 10 replies)

did she let you watch watership down?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 16:19, closed)

*shudder* That thing is pretty traumatic, even once free of bunny-phobia.
(IChewCandlewax, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:44, closed)

it's horrific

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:20, closed)

Jesus, Watership Down
That must have psychologically damaged so many kids. What were they thinking?
( The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Wed 23 Aug 2017, 22:19, closed)

Let's traumatize kids, probably

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 24 Aug 2017, 13:24, closed)

Alright, 'Tim the Enchanter'.
Haha, like in Star Wars!
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:26, closed)

Amazing! The cupboard didn't move eh?!
( Vambo, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 0:05, closed)

It should never be underestimated the narrow space a petrified toddler can get lodged into.
(IChewCandlewax, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:53, closed)

"You're such a GOOD boy, come here and play with my bunny"
Doesn't sound so innocent to me
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:25, closed)

Hello Anya out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 24 Aug 2017, 19:34, closed)