Accidentally EroticThere I am, sitting in the dark, squinting at a chart of letters trying to work out if that's an E or a H. The optician is leaning toward me and suddenly I'm concentrating more on her than the chart, praying she doesn't get any closer or this could get embarrassing.
What situations in your life have you found accidentally/inappropriately erotic?
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chthonic, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 12:49)
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17 yr old piss stiffy and other tales of woeI spent a bit of my time in hospital when I was 17 and woke up one day in intensive care. Now I don't know about anyone else but I CANNOT pee in those stupid little bottles they give you. So as the day wears on my body reacts by giving me a hard-on to stop me peeing myself. Bugger, thinks I. The nurse looking after me was getting concerened I hadn't been to the loo and decided, with another nurse, to check my bladder. Cue huge embarrassement from me and her as she slid her hand under my pyjamas and right on the top of my raging stiffy.
The last couple of years have been wonderful for me - NOT. Problems with my guts meant much prodding and poking and bum-fingering, but last year beat the lot.
In January I had appendicitis, young fit asian female doctor inserting her finger into my ringpiece was just the start.
Then I developed probs with my waterworks, meaning I was prodded and poked around my nether regions by a male doctor (not nice) and told I needed a camera inserting in my bladder to check for anything nasty. I hate sitting in a ward wearing nothing but a thin hospital gown trying to keep my very bored mind off the nurses for nearly an hour. Get into the theatre and find 3 nurses, all female, waiting patiently for me to lie down and lift my gown. Then one squirts some gunk down my japs eye and, heres the good bit, MASSAGES IT DOWN MY URETHRA (think backwards hand shandy). How I managed not get a lob on astounds me even now.
I'd better stop now, need to go walk the dog, yes, thats it, walk .... the ..... dog ......
(, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 19:52, Reply)
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