I’m an addict. No, worse than that, I’ve become a pusher…
Oh, people of B3ta, hear my sorry tale of woe that you might amuse yourselves and escape such a fate.

It’s been ten years. I thought I was cured. It was hard. After I gave it up, threw it all out, avoided anywhere I could get it and pretended I’d never known it’s sweet embrace, I thought it was out of my life – forever. Oh, how short sighted I was.

It all came back last year. Thanks to a no-good, layabout friend of mine. And, most sickeningly, a police officer. That one phone call was the beginning of the end.

“Mate, umm, I was kinda just thinking, it’s been a long time, you know? Maybe we can try it again, see how it goes?”

If I’d had any inkling of the consequences I’d have slammed the phone down, buried it in concrete and never spoken to him again.

You see, I’m addicted to… God, I can’t even say it. I don’t want you all to judge me, but I might, just might, reach somebody else out there.

I’m addicted to Warhammer 40000. I know… It was a slow descent back into madness. It started with a novel, a dog-eared sci-fi fest that a friend recommended.

‘There’s no harm in a book,’ I said. My friends, a few, self-deluding fools, agreed. “It’s not like we’re gonna collect the models, that’d be tragic. They’re for kids.” ‘Yeah,’ we guffawed, ‘we’re not going down “that” road. Definitely not.

We’d chat over beers. “Have you read the latest book? It’s great.” And it was. And for a time it went no further. We kept it to ourselves and kept it ticking over.

Then, Black Tuesday. The day it got out of control. That phone call. “Mate, I was just passing the shop and I bought a squad of Space Marines and some paint… You know, it’ll be fun. Just a laugh… Maybe you could get some too? And I’ve asked the others, they’re gonna do it too. Please? I can’t be the only one…”

And so it began. So began the buying, modelling, painting and playing. Books, paints, tanks and sordid weekends involving D6 and a Codex. Afternoons spent being lectured on rules by eight-year-olds and having our arses kicked by teens with their mums beeping car horns outside.

God, I feel so dirty. But I’m in too deep. Six months in, about £400 in models, paints, books and scenery. Last night I…oh my… I went to Warhammer World in Nottingham…

I’m sorry, I can’t go on. I’m going to have to shower again. But the dirt never comes off… Maybe afterwards I can paint some Shield Drones… *sob*

Length? Dunno about that, but the standard miniature height is 28mm….
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 21:18, 10 replies)

Most of my friends play Warhammer
Me and my friend Becky used to delight in going to Gamesworkshop when our friend was the manager and playing our own game.
We would take it in turns to role the dice and whoever got the lowest number would have to remove an item of clothing.
It would never get very far, we would just like to slowly pull our stockings down to wind up all the guys who were there...
Aren't we lovely?
( Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:18, closed)

Having been in those shops an unhealthy amount
I think that would confuse and upset most of them.

Also, why was this never in the shop I went into? Damn world.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:41, closed)

I don't know...
Maybe we should start the game again and start touring all the shops in Britain...
( Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:52, closed)

Everyone needs a hobby
And it probably beats the one most people in there are following...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:56, closed)

Oh hear my tale
I was impressionable like you; but Im ahead of you. My utter low point was CCGs; M:tG, Warcry, Mythos, WH40K, Dune, Battletech...Cardboard Crack swallowed HUGE amounts of my income. Fortunately my supply dried up and I was forced to go cold Turkey. But then GW hooked me once more; I even ended up working for them (Oh the shame). Im now however hooked on flames of war, Hell Dorado and Warmachine. There is no end.
(kitescreech still here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:45, closed)

Oh dear lord
there but for the grace of God go I

(just finished reading Storm of Iron, thought about picking up some Chaos marines at the weekend)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:21, closed)

Go for it...
Give in to the Ruinous Powers. And read Dead Sky, Black Sun - it has Honsou in it!
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:50, closed)

...
I've been debating sticking all my figs on eBay. I still enjoy the modelling and gaming, but it seems like no one else I know plays anymore. Perhaps I should take the hint.

I tried going into the shops a few times but they were always full of fat, spotty manky teenagers*


*I'm only 23, but I'm sure I was never that spotty or manky.
(Gazebo will eat you on, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:01, closed)

I think what's worse is
that you collect Tau...I don't like being able to tell that. It comes from lurking /tg/, you should have a look, they're all such neckbeards that you won't feel like such a loser in comparison.
(Hippo_of_Doom, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:14, closed)

You're all such...
Geeks.

Also, the Tau rock.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:19, closed)