Cadbury's Creme Eggs
It's not really fair calling this an addiction, because I am obliged to go cold turkey when Mr Cadbury turns off his egg factory in April, but by god are these things fine.

Absolutely everything about creme eggs is finely honed perfection. Everything. The purple and scarlet foil wrapper gives the egg a regal air, cladding it in colours fit for a Roman emperor. The delicate aroma of cocoa as the foil tantalisingly reveals the first glimpse of the egg's essential surface is an intoxicating scent, rather like what I image the first, bracing smell of heaven would be like. The chocolate is the perfect thickness to offer just enough resistance to teeth, before descending orgiastically into the fondant below. And the fondant... my god, is this what bees feel when they consume royal jelly? By now quivers of pleasure run through my body, and I'm already considering my next egg.

At college I was a fairly healthy lad, eating five fruit and veg a day, going for runs, rowing etc, but for some odd reason was a spot lethargic. More often than not I would doze off in lectures. However, one night my friends dared me to eat ten creme eggs in one minute. Alas, I failed miserably (four minutes fifty), but, well, ten eggs is ten eggs. Within minutes I felt the effect on my body.

That night, when going to sleep, I was tossing and turning for about an hour. If you have watched the Spiderman movie, imagine the scene where Tobey Maguire spends a restless night while developing superpowers and you will have a fair idea of what I was going through. The next thing I remember is waking up at 6:30 feeling like some kind of Olympian god. I immediately leapt out of bed and went for a refreshing sprint around the city, then woke up one of my friends for a game of squash. Soundly thrashed him. Got to my 9am lecture and took the best damn notes I have ever produced. Went for another run instead of eating lunch. Spent the afternoon in the lab, getting far purer crystals of whatever it was we were synthesising than anyone else. Played squash instead of dinner, and then went for a bit of a dance.

Come midnight I had not eaten a thing all day, so simply had a kebab. Funnily enough, the next day was rather similar.

I am now convinced that a healthy lifestyle does nothing for one's quality of life. Creme eggs are the catalyst for unlocking humankind's potential. If only they were available all year round.
(I grew it myself, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 2:14, 3 replies)

Seek ye out the cheapo grocery shops on council estates
where thou shalt find them out of season, yea verily, a bag of ten for a quid.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 7:22, closed)

They are the Devil's snot.
But you get a click for being so eloquent.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:12, closed)

Expressed beautifully
Revolting confectionery though.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 4:56, closed)