Pokies
Any b3tans who live in or have been to Australia will vouch for the ubiquitousness of this cancer on drinking and recreational establishments.

For the uninitiated UK denizens, think rooms full of fruit machines crossed with video games that can swallow $50 notes in about two minutes.

For the septics, think mini Vegas slot rooms attached to every local boozer.

Anyway, my poor ol mum has a bit of a problem. She's been "enslaved by the evil lord Gamblor" to quote a fine Simpsons episode. I thought she had got it under control in recent years, just dabbling every now and again. But as I now live on the other side of the world, it's hard to keep track.

I called my brother for his birthday last week, and it seems that the problem has re-emerged. She's been feeding plastic notes into the bastards at a frenzied rate, chasing that next win to recover her losses and trying all sorts of things to cover her tracks (typical gambling addict behaviour).

My bro and sis had to have an intervention, eventually getting past some atrocious bare-faced lying to get her to admit to the extent of her problem, and also taking my well-meaning but too-willing-to-turn-a-blind-eye father to task for not keeping tabs.

I'm going back for a visit in the new year, and am thinking about advising her to get some proper professional help, as difficult as that might be.

Sorry for non-funnies. I just wanted to rant about how much I hate poker machines. What's event worse is that most of them don't even have anything to do with that fine card game.

Also, I know the question was supposed to be about my addiction(s). So, to varying degrees over the years: double espressos, b3ta and general web procrastination, online procrasturbation, red wine, weed and speed. Must try to recall some amusing anecdotes about any of these...
(cheez is feeling ergophobic, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:32, 3 replies)

oh noes a typo!
lol unless you mean people smelling like scum and week-old faeces, i think you mean sceptics ;) (or American spelling, skeptics)
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 17:39, closed)

Nope
"Septics" as in septic tank = Yank.
If you were anti-American could be described as "Dettol" - I.E Anti-septic.

Geddit?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:18, closed)

Uninitiated UK denizens?
There's so many of the blinking things we can't rid of them quick enough.

Slot machines were bearable, with their measly beeping, but these multimedia enhanced screaming whores cause even the most chilled of people wanting the bounce the bonce of the player off the front of the thing after 4 hours of the same OTT win/loose/begging-pleasepleaseplaysomemorejustinsertanotherfiver sing-song.
(FunOnABun Smears lard on you!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:59, closed)