That fucking Guinness ad
I know, specific. OK, the one from years ago where some surfers are randomly accompanied by horses as they try to stay on their boards long enough for a woman to decide she wants to have sex with them (that's all surfing is, right?). Several years ago now. It had Leftfield on in the background and some kind of monotonous voiceover about tick following tock. Naturally it had fuck all to do with Guinness, unless the motif was "don't drink Guinness and surf, it'll make you hallucinate fucking great horses", and for some reason won various awards and "Best TV ads" polls, as if those are ever worth running, subtle dig, ha ha ha.

My problem is this. What the fuck was Gandalf doing chucking up horses in the waves for Guinness? Were the Nazgul stood just out of shot and in need of having the shit put up them? When did he find time to do this? Was all that stuff about being the prisoner of Saruman a cover story while he was off moonlighting? Hardly a productive use of a Wizard's time. Maybe that's how he got the new clobber after his scrap with the Balrog. His hair might have been hiding a corporate logo on the back like a football shirt. I think we should be told.

That is all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:14, 10 replies)

as a surfer you'd think I would insult you for mocking us
but no, surfing is so awesome it mellows even me.

With your gay ballroom dancing skills you'd probably have good enough balance to give it a go. You should try. There's nothing else quite like it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:27, closed)

If I'd known you were a surfer I'd have put the boot in a bit more

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:08, closed)

I'd sit here in smug satisfaction knowing how awesome surfing is
and that anything you say is irrelevant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:12, closed)

I hated this ad as well
Load of pretentious shite, "tick follows tock" and all that bollocks
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 15:30, closed)

Quoting Moby Dick is pretentious now?
Bloody hell.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:01, closed)

it is a bit
but there's nothing wrong with pretentiousness in advertising.

Guinness stand out as one of the few companies with consistently good advertising. Including the one mentioned above.

What's not to like? Surfing, good tune, CGI horses, Moby Dick...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:12, closed)

This is not addressing the issue
Gandalf's a moneygrabbing scoundrel
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:46, closed)

Quoting anything is pretentious
...if a.) You don't grasp the meaning of what you're quoting b.) You know that your audience is unlikely to be familiar with the quote, or c.) Your quote is only relevant to immediate circumstances in your own self-aggrandising imagination.

In this case twatty ad agency creative is guilty of b and c, although I suppose c is up for (incredibly boring) debate.

Bring back Rutger Hauer!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:46, closed)

I love the last line
Is that just your answer to everything? If so, it's AWESOME
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:48, closed)

I agree.
Pretentious.
And it replaced the best Guinness adverts ever.
( Duncan Disorderly, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 20:15, closed)