TWANG THWACK
When I was nine I spent some of the summer holidays in my dads shed, making a crossbow out of a bit of scrap wood and an old fishing rod. I did craft some arrows from a couple of ‘borrowed’ knitting needles, but soon discovered that it fired screws and 6-inch nails just as well.

Thing is, it did look like something knocked together out of tat by a 9 year old, so no adults bothered to check if it was a functioning lethal weapon, which it was. Eventually I got spotted by one of the neighbourhood parents firing 6-inch nails into a tree, was frogmarched home and forced to demonstrate it to my dad. He thought it was bloody marvellous and it was with a genuine heavy heart that he did the right thing and confiscated it for ever.

So I made another one the next day and was a bit more careful where I used it.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 14:51, 3 replies)

I like this.


For some reason it reminded me of another story. My dad used to tinker with motorbikes. He had a few around, and sometimes used to canibalise one as spares for another.

One day he was having a cleanup, and wanted to take the old frame from one to the dump. So he got a hacksaw, sawed it in half and stuck it in the boot of the car.

When he got home, he found my brother, who was 5 at the time, had thought this a rather jolly wheeze, and had sawed his own perfectly servicaeable bike in half.
(username failed moderation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:23, closed)

Hahaha, this had me spluttering with suppressed mirth in the office :D
Now I've got that thing where every time I remember it I do an involuntary chuckle.

Post it as a story so I can click it!
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:09, closed)

I clicked
for the last line
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Sat 19 Nov 2011, 0:32, closed)