Accidental animal crueltyI once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.
Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.
(
rob, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
« Go Back
Ah, TV HeavenPicture the scene. Our hero is at the local travel tavern, having a last drink before bed...
Alan: You must have got up to a few pranks in your time.
Michael: Way-aye. Hey, I mind this one time, right. I was stationed out in Belize, right, and I had this little macaque monkey as a pet, right? And one day, I came back to my tent, right, and it'd eaten all my fags.
[Alan laughs.]
Michael: So I picked it up and I hoid it in the watta.
[Alans face falls.]
Alan: You threw a monkey in the sea?
Michael: Well, it had eaten all my fags, man. It was a big packet of two-hundred duty-frees, like.
Alan: You threw a monkey in the sea? That's awful. I mean, I was fishing for some sort of funny story. That's just upsetting.
Michael: Well, you know, I wasn't thinking straight. I just, kind of, got the red mist in front of my eyes and I just grabbed the monkey and hurled it in the sea.
Alan: Will you stop saying you threw your monkey in the sea? All I can see is a monkey spinning towards the water.
Michael: Well, it didn't go straight in the water. It bounced off a rock.
Marvellous.
Edit: for authentic Geordieness.
(, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 17:04, 2 replies)
Classic PArtridgeI believe Michael says hoid (spl) it instead of hurled ;)
(
M o D, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 11:15,
closed)
@ M o DIt's 'hoyed' as in 'hoy it in the watta'.
Your official geordie translator.
(, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 15:46, closed)
« Go Back