A hat-trick on this QOTW!
Lived in barracks in Germany and a colleague had two chipmunks in his room. One night, on returning back to his room drunk, turns and shouts at the chipmunks for making too much noise in their cage. The shock is too much for one of the poor little beasts and he croaks it on the spot. I reckon it was the beer breath from all the german ale!

So, we're down to one chipmunk!

The same guy it turns out is banging the missus of one of the other guys in the unit. This eventually gets discovered and he's sent away to a different unit, but unable to take the remaining chipmunk. I volunteer to look after it and everything is happy for some time afterwards.......until I get told Im deploying to Ireland!

After paying a load of beer tokens to a room mate and buying all the food etc to last 6 months, Im shipped off to the emerald isle. Tour over, I arrive back in Germany and can't wait to see the little chipmunk again. Walking into the room, the cage is empty, completely clear of bedding, food, water.....everything!!

I storm off to find the guy who was supposed to look after it, grab him and ask WTF happened to my chipmunk???

'It got run over' was his reply! 'Run over...RUN OVER!!! HTF does it get run over in its cage on the second floor of a barrack block??' I enquire.

'Well.....' he says.....'We let it out of the cage one afternoon, but forgot to close the window. It was up the curtain, out of the window and sat on the window ledge. We tried to open the window and grab it, but it 'fell' off, hit the ground...but it was OK. Then it ran into the road outside the block as a 4 tonner went past and didnt make it'.

So, no more chipmunks! There is however, my mates hamster!

He lived with his german wife and her gorgeous little *insert awfully translated sickly sweet pet name for a hamster here*. They had a habit of letting the hamster run around in the kitchen for a little while while they ate dinner in the living room. Always careful, my mate puts the light on to make sure he doesnt tread on the little mite when he takes the plates back in the kitchen.

Then, one day he's a bit worse for wear after a few hours in the unit bar, decides that he cant juggle plates and hit the lights, doesnt want to upset the missus with broken crockery of course. So, shoves the door open and very carefully steps across the kitchen.......CRUNCH!!

Dropping the plates in surprise at the soft, squishy and slight crunchy thing under his boots, he steps back. His missus runs into the kitchen at the sound of the dishes hitting the floor, flicks the lights on just as her little hamster is doing its best impression of roadkill. Poor little thing didnt expire though, mate had to snap its neck :/
(indigo_prime, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 17:53, Reply)