Wasp cookery
Just remembered this one. May be a pearoast, so apologies if you've read this before.

As a teenager I found a wasps' nest in the eaves of our house. My dad was talking about getting the council pest control people to get rid of it. But I had a better idea. I knocked it down with a long pole and once the swarm of angry wasps had subsided a bit, I put the nest into an old biscuit tin, added a drop of paraffin and threw in a lit match.

Result - I win, wasps lose. But not quite. I discovered something about wasp reproduction.

While the papery wasp-nesty stuff burns very well and very cleanly, the main purpose of any nest, as I may have guessed had I thought about it, is to have a place to raise young. In the case of wasps, the papery stuff is formed into little cells, each of which contains a growing wasp larva.

And when they're cooked in a paraffin-fuelled inferno, they don't half stink!

Edit - the unintentional cruelty bit was burning their babies alive - I only meant to make them homeless!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 11 Dec 2007, 15:21, 10 replies)

Yay !
I hate wasps!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 11 Dec 2007, 15:25, closed)

HAH!
Serves the stripey bastards right
( M o D, Tue 11 Dec 2007, 15:41, closed)

I tend to leave them alone
if I find them out in the woods or something. But if they build a nest in or around my house, it's war.

Same applies to yellowjackets.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 11 Dec 2007, 15:44, closed)

Resident Loon
American wasps are even bigger and nastier than our British ones. I know, I've been stung by both!

I was helping friends in Indiana try to eradicate a wasps' nest under their deck, but the wasps weren't too happy with our efforts, and made it known the only way wasps can. Several cans of foaming wasp killer did the trick though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 11 Dec 2007, 15:50, closed)

.
Tip 1: Don't squish wasps - there's something in their blood that attracts others and makes them angry. Kill the feckers without squishing them unless you want more and and angrier wasps around.

Tip 2 (great for pubs with gardens - god immediate effect, even better long term): Hang a piece of fish about an inch above a bucket of soapy water. They'll go straight for it, and about 2/3 will at some point, while clambering all over the fish stuffing their faces, fall into the water. The soap destroys the waterproofing on their wings, they can't get out and they drown. The reason you leave the gap and let some escape is that they then go and tell all the others in the area about this fantastic piece of fish they've found...

*Edit: neither of these are urban legends, they are confirmational bias at worst, ie, they're tried and tested personally.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Tue 11 Dec 2007, 16:03, closed)

Worse yet
are Japanese hornets. We have them over here now, and those fuckers are literally the size of my thumb. When I get one of those in the house I knock it down to the floor and stomp it with my full weight, as they're vicious bastards.

My favorite way of dealing with swarming hornets involves a can of engine starter fluid (which is mostly ether) and a butane lighter. Swamp them with a huge fireball and their wings fry and they drop. Then you get to do a Mexican hat dance on them as they crawl around...

No mercy expected or given.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 11 Dec 2007, 16:07, closed)

Excellent
I hate wasps. They're like gatecrashers who rock up at your party and then make a nuisance of themselves.

Any method of exterminating them en masse is good by me.

[edit] Japanese Hornets sound nasty. Aren't common or garden hornets supposed to be relatively docile compared to the more aggresive wasp?

Although I am a fervent believer in not being cruel to animals, any creature which is intent on biting me, sucking my blood or causing some irritation is fair game. Wasps, midges, gnats, horseflies and belligerent red ants can expect no mercy if they dare provoke my wrath.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 11 Dec 2007, 16:08, closed)

Apparently Japanese hornet is a misnomer.
Here's a page on them: www.vespa-crabro.de/hornets.htm

Their claims of the gentleness of hornets is pure horseshit. They are beyond malignant. If I encounter them outside I kill them without hesitation.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 11 Dec 2007, 16:24, closed)

huh
And not a few pages ago you wondered why one stung you on the big toe and tried to blame me!

Yay for flaming wasp death though.

Death to the wasps! Hurrah!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 11 Dec 2007, 17:01, closed)

Good point happylittletulip
But I just killed their babies and destroyed their living quarters. I didn't insult them verbally!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 8:40, closed)