Accidental animal crueltyI once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.
Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.
(
rob, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
« Go Back
Gerbil terrorAll this talk of gerbils has reminded me of a recent incident at a friend's house.
She had recently bought a gerbil and seeing as I have a pet rat I was full of confidence handling the little fluff ball as I felt that I had a natural affinity with rodents.
Anyway, this particular rodent was called Gabriel and was a sweet-looking, hyperactive white creature. She appeared to be enjoying herself immensely as she grappled her way up my jumper, into my hood, sniffed my ears etc all the while practically buzzing with pent-up nervous energy.
After a while she seemed to tire of this and settled down on the palm of my left hand which was resting on my lap. I thought that this was extremely cute and so stroked one of her small, white rodenty cheeks. Her eyes closed and she seemed to be working her jaw in a contended fashion. "Awww.." I thought to myself. "She's going to drift off to sleep. I am indeed the Gerbil Whisperer!".
No sooner had this triumphant thought crossed my mind than the gerbil - obviously sensing that my guard was down - sank it's evil, sharp teeth into the soft flesh of my index finger – right to the very bone.
I had to suppress the first 2 instincts that I had - the first being to squeeze the little fucker and the second to flick it across the room, but I had to think fast! I didn't really want to hurt the little morsel of evil but at the same time, blood was already starting to bead and drip from my injured digit in a rather alarming fashion (I hate the sight of blood).
I am not proud to announce that I did something disgusting. Something that my pain and alarm-riddled brain decided would be a great idea - the very best idea at removing this toothsome puffball from my flesh.
Ladies and gentlemen, I *licked* the gerbil in the face. I smothered it's startled little beady-eyed noggin with a generous amount of my rather copious, stale-fags-and-alcohol infused saliva.
The effect was remarkable! Count Gerbula released it's death-grip from my finger and started spluttering uncontrollably – fur matted with my spit (and some of my blood). Sensing my chance, I quickly scooped it up and stuffed it back in it's cage - ensuring that I had clipped the door securely shut.
Now I don't know if any of you has ever heard a gerbil growl but the noise emanating from the satanic little beast was unlike anything I had ever heard before outside of the film 'The Exorcist'. It was evidently enraged and started to try and attack me through the cage - charging the bars and biting them unrelentingly. I was actually quite disturbed at this and so nursing my injured finger, I quietly slunk out of the room and never mentioned the incident to anyone.
A few weeks later, my friend happily discovered that she was pregnant and asked me if I would like to take her gerbil off her hands as she didn't feel that she wanted it any more. She knew that I kept rodents and thought that I would be the ideal candidate.
Panic gripped my soul and I mumbled something about not having enough room for it. Secretly though, my heart was racing and the fear of the evidently possessed creature pipetted itself into my veins. I hastily made my escape and thanked my lucky stars that I managed to avoid the gerbil of evil being berthed at my house… watching, waiting and plotting it’s revenge…
(
squirrels emit silent screams has updog, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:27,
7 replies)
"Count Gerbula" - ClassicGerbils are evil beasts. I kept them when I was younger. I still have scars.
On the flipside, I kept rats for three years until last year. The only time I was bitten by one was when I gave one a shock when she was very ill and in distress (just before we had her put down). They just love human company.
My future kids aren't going to be allowed to keep anything other than rats. Preferably big, dirty, nasty looking things. Wonderful creatures.
(, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:48, closed)
Couldn't agree more!My rat is a very sweet-natured boy and loves nothing more than stuffing himself down the back of my t-shirt and then sticking his nose out and watching the world go by.
They totally rock as pets and I really don't understand all of the bad press they seem to get. Better than gerbils any day!
(
squirrels emit silent screams has updog, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:02,
closed)
gerbils are evil gits.Me mam had one and it initially would tear chunks out of her finger.
Then for some bizarre reason it gave up the biting and started licking her fingers instead. She cried when he died about a year later. *puts down pellet gun*
(
Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:26,
closed)
Chuckles...*licked* the gerbil..... LOL
*clicks*
(, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:27, closed)
Guinea pigs are just as bad.
(
The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 18:28,
closed)
rodents stinkand yes, guinea pigs are just as bad as the rest. And SO dumb
(, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 2:14, closed)
Hee hee hee"Count Gerbula" That's going to be my next Hallowe'en costume.
Rats rock. They are the sweetest little pocket dogs you could ever want.
(, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 5:57, closed)
« Go Back