Evil passion killing bunny
Seeing as this is a reposted QOTW, I'll grace it with a repost. It's bit like BBC2, without the license fee.

A year ago I was seeing a lass who had was babysitting a cute ickle bunnywabbit called "Rabbi", as named by his Jewish custodians. She invited me back for coffee and groping post date, so as the front door opened I was introduced to her temporary charge. Rabbi was a free range house rabbit, who'd been trained to use a cat litter tray and with his little twitchy nose and fluffy bunny tail was as cute as cute gets.

There is one issue though. I fucking hate rabbits. They never live up to their cute billing. As a general rule, they're grumpy, smelly and thick. Kind of like a rodent version of Sara Cox.

Not Rabbi. Oh no. He jauntily bounced over to me and sniffed my hand before jumping into my lap. Rabbi enjoyed being petted, so I made a fuss of him much to the delight of the lass, I felt my prejudice melting away as I ticked Rabbi's little bunny jowls.

More primal urges were calling however, so as my lady companion relaxed on her sofa I edged over and kissed her. Hands were grasping and caressing the backs of heads as the kissing grew in both intensity and promise. Oh yes. I was scripting a tale to rival the best of Mr Spencer when I felt a soft, furry "plop" in my lap.

Yes, hello Rabbi. Yes, you're very cute. Have a fuss. Amid some fawning giggles, Rabbi jumped back down to forage on the floor, bless his little furry socks.

Where was I? Ah yes...

A few snog-laden minutes later there's another warm furry presence in my lap and not the one I had in mind. Rabbi again.

Showing a multitasking ability far in advance of what can be reasonably expected for my gender, I carried on kissing and caressing. I felt a draught of cold air round my neck as the top button on my shirt was popped open.

Rabbi was seemingly most put out for he jumped into my lap a good five times while the kissing tempo increased. I did the honorable thing and ignored him, hoping he'd get the hint.

My hand brushed my thigh as I felt an urgent need to adjust my clothing in the face of such a pheromone induced assault.

What the fuck?

My hand brushed some hard, round marbles and I knew instantly why he'd been so keen to get into my lap. As passion was replaced by surprise and disgust, the mood changed sharply.

Rabbit shit isn't the most offensive substance known to man, but Rabbi had planned for this. Not only had he been shitting on me, he'd also been pissing on the cushion next to me, enraging my date a tad and utterly ruining the mood. Passion evapourated amongst a fluffy of disinfectant spray, wet cloths and oaths.

As I bade a chaste farewell half an hour later, I swear I heard sniggering from the furry little bastard.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Apr 2008, 15:40, 1 reply)

Rabbits...
...are not as daft as they seem. They're also either: 1) Timid as fuck or 2) Attention whores.

This is experience gained from 6 different rabbits. The second variety are bastards if you don't meet their demands, they'll play silly buggers when you least expect or want it.
(buzzmong procrastinating since 1987, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:17, closed)