Alsatian melon
As a 9 year old on holiday in Rhodes I was snorkelling along the beach - sort of beside it truth be told - invisible apart from a jellyfish of stripy blond hair and a 4 shekel snorkel.

I swam passed a greek couple who were playing throw the water melon to the alsatian - I can't actually how big it must have been to carry a watermelon when I think about it, but it must have had a great deal of length and girth - Anyway, they threw the watermelon past me into the sea, the dog ran in and dragged my melon like head back onto the beach, attached to my screaming red face.

To rub salt into the wound, I had to go to the police station and tell them I had been baiting the dog so they didn't shoot it. And spend the remainder of my holiday with tampon shaped things sewn to my head.

I was also savaged aged 6 by a hemaphrodite called Freddies' alsatian. When I fell off a wall I was no doubt athletically sprinting along, he/she picked me up the dog assisted by launching itself into my leg and helping to carry that a bit further away. That dog didn't get shot either.

I don't like alsatians much but the puppies have good ears.
(ftumch, Fri 3 Jun 2005, 16:35, Reply)