So... the other morning I was having a poo.
It was one of those poos where everything just falls into place.

I have mentioned in a previous qotw that I am woken up each morning by my dog, Oscar, licking my face (this was no exeption), and I soon became aware that a worrying degree of bowel evacuation was required. I started things off and it seemed to be quite a regular one, no frills and all that, but it was soft and warm enough to merit the term pleasant.

I didn't have to push anymore by this point, as gravity was now on my side and this majectic turd slid from my anus to its final resting place. I realised by this point that I had gone an incrediby long time without pinching, and by now I was revelling in my own brilliance.

The next stage of this particular poo saw a number of silent farts come out, whilst poo was still coming out. This is an experience that I feel is best portrayed by likening it to how a woman must feel when a man has ejectulated in her anus or vagina and, though his penis is still inside her and is effectively filling up the hole (hopefully) some semen leaks out through the almost water-tight seal between vaginal wall and penile shaft.

As I recall, there were 5 of these farts before this monumental toilet treasure called it a day - I didn't even have to clench to finish it, it just ended by itself. Then, before I could take in the extent of my movements, my rectum refilled itself so that I could extend my enjoyment - this truly was a re-loading time that the Royal Artillery would have been proud of. This one was exqually as delightful and pengent as the last had been, though sadly not as long.

Anyway, long story short she was pissed off that I had poo'd on her in her sleep... I mean what the fuck is that all about!? Needless to say I got rid of her.
(2_Killer_Mockingbirds Listened to all the same songs on, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 22:10, 2 replies)

Clearly it's poo story time, then?
I was writing the next story when this was posted.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 22:43, closed)

Why are all the virgins
obsessed with poo?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:37, closed)