Internet down? Not a problem.
Like many of your fine selves, I'd like to think of myself as being somewhat "tech-savvy". This is to the point that I don't think a proper internet outage has affected me. Our ISP's DNS servers decided to fall over a few weeks back and we didn't even notice because I use 2 different sets of DNS servers as a backup (OpenDNS and Google's, if you must know).
A few months before hand, our entire street's internet was down because someone set fire to the green cab, the thoughtless bastards. Not a problem though, I just enabled a wireless tether on my phone and we were back online with good enough speeds for all your facebookings and such. We even did our big monthly tesco shop without an issue. Dead PSU? Replaced in minutes. Graphics card fried? Not a problem! I've got a spare everything that'll do in a pinch.

What a shame I'm completely useless at anything else.

When we first moved into our new place we had trouble getting the heating on. We were on to the landlord within minutes, screaming blue murder and how we had rights, how it's disgraceful that they'd let us move in without a working boiler knowing full well we had a 3month old child. The lady on the phone promised she'd get someone out immediately.
Not 30s after hanging the phone up, she called us back and said "erm...just to be sure, before you tried turning the boiler on, did you turn the gas supply on?".

Apparently when you move into a new house, you need to turn the gas supply on. Fucked if I knew that.

A similar conversation took place a few months later when the boiler broke down. How dare they not get someone out this very picosecond, we have a 6month old child! Once again, she quickly phoned us back and made sure we hadn't already done the usual things like switching the boiler off and on, topping up the water in case the pressure dropped, etc.

Apparently when your boiler breaks down, usually the way to fix it is to top up the water pressure. Fucked if I knew that.

Honestly, if the internet goes down I'm largely confident that I can conjure it from thin air somehow, but if so much as a screw comes loose from a shelf, I'll be panicking and screaming.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 16:50, 7 replies)

So, you forgot to turn it off and on again.
Call yourself a techie.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 14 Jun 2012, 17:16, closed)

It should have
ctrl+alt+del keys on it.
(username failed moderation, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 8:39, closed)

Not the same
Woah now, turning something on is a completely different kettle of fish than turning something off and then on again. Totally different things, there.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 10:03, closed)

Let's hope you do better at looking after the tiny human
than you do with the pile of bricks.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 19:09, closed)

So far so good
He's not far off 2 now and still has all his fingers.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 10:03, closed)

I've got an idea.
When non-internet stuff goes wrong, you could look it up on the internet.

I did and now I earn $437 a week working from home.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:21, closed)

1.5 is the pressure I beleive but it's not the only thing that can go wrong with those fucking combi boilers.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:34, closed)