I just had a bit of a cleanup in the cab of my old truck.
Shamed when offering someone a lift and having no room for them had led me to try and tidy it up a bit. At first glance it's an extended cab pickup which should seat 5 people comfortably but has over the last 3 years gradually accumulated my "survival gear".
It all started innocently enough with some winter basics in case I got meself stuck in a winter storm. Here in Alberta we do get some rather unpleasant storms which sweep down off the Arctic and can drop a huge amount of wind blown snow and extreme cold temperatures on us. -35º to -40ºC are not uncommon. It makes sense to be prepared and avoid death while trapped for a few hours on a back road.
In theory I can munch on high energy snacks and make myself a hot drink while I snuggle down in my sleeping bag (the cab kept just above freezing by candles) and await the end of the storm or rescue. There's even something to read.

This so called "winter emergency kit" is all well and good but it's June now and the days are warming up nicely so I thought I'd have a rummage through the piles of stuff filling the back seats and take out what I didn't need. I have to admit this is the first time I've attempted this in 2 years or more.

Here's just some of the stuff I found on the back seat, under the seats, in bags, in the side pockets..
2 kinds of bowsaw, a chainsaw chain with handles, 4 knives, knife sharpening equipment, a can of bear spray, 3 multitools (2 of which I thought I'd lost and had replaced), 2 sleeping bags, 8 candles, flint and steel, spare flint and steel, various lighters, can of lint to start fires, a small axe, a machete, a substantial toolkit, compass, mini gps, whistle, kettle, gas stove, 12 volt kettle, can of butane for various lighters, gloves, hats, socks, waterproof boot covers, a small tarp, a bigger tarp, bag of energy bars, packs of coffee, hot chocolate and cold drink mix with vitamin c. Big tow chain, heavy duty towing strap, folding shovel, hammers (2 of), cable ties, assorted self tapping screws.

There's more. I've put it into 2 large tote boxes and still there's more. Tins of food, 12 cans of fruit juice, dog treats ( I don't currently have a dog but there they are anyway) and more..

And I wondered why my fuel consumption was poor..

So now if the apocalypse rears its ugly head while I'm on the road tomorrow, the very things I had planned on using to stay alive will be at home in plastic boxes.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 3:36, 12 replies)

You can never anticipate the next twist of fate
You'll be looking at those two totes in the back of your truck and thinking to your self 'I might as well have left them at home', as you sink through ice/teeter on the edge of a volcano/beg for mercy from the pack of rabid wolves with oppose-able thumbs/or some such unforeseen ending.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 4:15, closed)

"pack of rabid wolves with oppose-able thumbs"?
You've been to Alberta haven't you?
You've seen what shouldn't be seen.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 4:44, closed)

Ahh
the truth about the beginnings of yiffing come out, finally.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 20 Jun 2012, 7:23, closed)

I did come across a couple
in the Peace River district, they had just polished off a Newfie for breakfast.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:48, closed)

Bear Spray?
Fucking Hell. I'd be too busy filling my pants to think about spraying the bear.
( Ken Oath, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 4:29, closed)

Yeah well,
you guys have the worst snakes and spiders lurking all over.
I hardly ever see a bear and they are at least too big to hide in the woodpile.
I've not had to use the spray...yet. I figure it's more likely I'll empty it into the face of a roadrage shithead one day, either way it'll make me feel better.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 4:42, closed)

Survival.
I once read about a rally car driver who broke down in the middle of nowhere one some long distance race in the early 80's.

All he had in the car was a packet of chewing gum, and a porno mag he found in the boot.

He reckons it was 24 hours before he was rescued and he was found cramping badly in the jaw and the forearm.
( Ken Oath, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 4:37, closed)

Where do you keep
the dismembered hookers?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 8:53, closed)

In the freezer in the basement.
Got a nice roast for the weekend.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 13:20, closed)

Some half-empty paint tins from work are leaking in the tray of my ute
Zombies come I'mma gunna paint those fuckers "creamy-morning-after-the-night-before-piss-yellow".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 20 Jun 2012, 9:56, closed)

i think you'll find
you now have an Ed Gein murder truck
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 11:52, closed)

I used to carry tools that I needed
... and when I'd finished doing something to my Volvo I'd toss the tools I'd used in the back. After a few months (it really was quite old and decrepit, and broke down a lot) I worked out that if the Apocalypse came I could do very well for myself changing head gaskets, pressing in valve seats, replacing suspension bushes and so on. Or, of course, building insane Mad Max dune buggies out of broken farm machinery and cars.
(gordonjcp, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 12:06, closed)