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This is a question Awesome Sickies

A colleague has been off work for two weeks now - apparently he's got something they can't diagnose, (although they know for sure it's not Legionnaires, Malaria, BSE or AIDS, he's supposedly in isolation). We are all sure he's merely sitting in the sun waiting for the World Cup to come on the telly.

What have you invented to get off work?

(, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 7:40)
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The more graphic the story the less they want you at work
I get very few vacation days at work but a ridiculous number of sick days (45!), so I try to use as many sick days as possible rather than my precious vacation days. What I've learned: The more disgusting the illness you claim, the more people will believe you and beg you to stay away. My advice is to use "vomit" and "diarrhea" repeatedly in the same sentence. Describe symptoms in excrutiating detail. The boss will tell you to stay home for the week. Real illnesses, such as broken bones, upper respiratory infections, or horrific migraines, garner no sympathy or belief, but graphically awful ones involving poo will work every time.

One added benefit: Because people at work now think I have a tremendously delicate digestive system and worry about causing me "episodes", I get to select the food for all of our catered events. No more cheap, crappy pizza. Gourmet all the way!
(, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 20:54, Reply)

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