Diarrhea (why is it spelt so fucking awkwardly? Cocaine, all mixed drinks)
Quickly, use diarrhea as an excuse, I can't leave the toilet, can't see doctor, imodium not working!!!!!! Leaves your work feeling very sorry for you as you must be suffering and also embarrased to admit your arse is like a Yellowstone park gusher.
One time I went over to a mates house, his parents had a pool and bar just installed, and the novelty was very strong. Sniffed up a crap ton of mediocre cocaine, and kept setting up doubles, triples, quadruples whatever would fit in the glass. Seemed like we were living the high life, how cool we thought we were.
Next day 11 am, I am lying face down in my bed, can't remember how I got there, suddenly realise that I had to be at work at 10 am. Hurry to work, walking into lamposts, parked cars, I could hardly speak properly. Get to my desk and on the phone. Take a call and look down at the phone, I have been on it for 55 minutes this guy has been droning on, I don't know what the fuck he has been saying I am so out of it. "Very good sir try this." and I hang up.
Wobbled over to the boss trying not to breath alchohol or release a torrent of sick over her. "I have a really horrible disorientating virus" I mumble feebly.
"Oh you poor thing, just go home and get some rest, you are very brave to come to work today."
I go home, get on the phone, the man comes and bingo bango bongo, we're on the missing again. Hee hee hee......
(booionic, Mon 12 Jun 2006, 12:40, Reply)