The best lungs in class
In science class when I was about 12 our teacher produced a huge manometer, an air pressure meter for those who can't be bothered to open up Google. It was a huge pipe that ran up and down a long board in a U shape, contained water and was calibrated in centimetres. The idea being that you measure your lung pressure by blowing in the end.

Being the one that was always picked last in PE, I had to generate some sort of self esteem amongst my classmates, so I had a go. I used my tongue as a sort of plunger and managed to pump the water up the tube quite efficiently, but then it got very difficult and I blew as hard as I could. I tried a bit too hard and collapsed half-unconscious to the jeers of the rest of the kids.

Nevertheless, I had beaten the entire class (well the half that had taken part) by a good 4cm and the teacher gave me £2 as a prize for such a valiant effort.

However, my pride was short-lived because the next lesson was PE and I scored an own-goal in football so Neil Wilson gave me a dead arm, the cunt.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:28, 10 replies)

I remembers dem
Our class gorilla managed to clear the tube and spray fluorescent liquid onto the ceiling spattering half the class. I never got a go ....
(spleenspleenspleen coffeeflavouredsugarcoatednicotine, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:29, closed)

To be fair you deserved that dead arm.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:34, closed)

Dead leg would have been more useful
Stop you kicking the ball into your own net again.
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:11, closed)

manometer
do dooo do do do
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:15, closed)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:47, closed)

I thought a manometer was one of those things you hit as hard as you can at a fairground.
wait ... no ... I'm thinking of gypsies
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:21, closed)

Hahahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:38, closed)

Ethniccleansinglol

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:39, closed)

hahahaha
That'll teach them for charging £4 for 2 mins on the waltzers.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:31, closed)

This brings back memories
I have relatively large lungs and used to swim a fair bit - I managed to send the needle completely off the scale by emptying the manometer.

Our teacher got very excited, rushed next door with the sheet to tell the other science teacher and the other class, and then proceeded to label me 'the Beast' for the rest of the year...

Happy days.
(anvil, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 16:13, closed)