Plastic fantastic
When I was about 12 my parents took me to visit my cousin who was a couple of years younger than me. My uncle hadn't realised I was going to be there so had organised a babysitter for my cousin while all the oldies went out for barn dance/cheese and wine/fonsue party (whatever they did in the 70s).

I was old enough to have been left alone and could have sat for him on my own but the babysitter was already there. I was mortified to think that I would be babysat when I was about to become a teenager however...

She was a local girl of about 14 I suppose. To say that my rapidly developing hormones starting pumping was an understatement. Said cousin was put to bed on time and then the babysitter and I began to enjoy a night to remember: she was beautiful (which in retrospect probably means developed) funny, engaging and assumed I was about her age so didn't have that disdain that teenagers have for younger children.

We talked for ages then things rapidly heated up and we moved to the next level...to the snooker room. My uncle is rich so had a full blown games room with a snooker table and assorted games paraphenalia: We had hours of fun throwing darts, pre-tend boxing using the punch bag, playing snooker, table tennis, cards. I think there was even an Atari games console. We laughed, drank (ice cream sodas), ate fine food (monster munch and leftover chinese) What a night. Doing all the things I would do during the day with my cousin but with a beautiful girl who had become my vision of the perfect woman.

At the end of the evening I just didn't want to go home but my parents arrived and that was it.

On the way home my parents asked me about the babysitter. More specifically they asked whether I thought it was a bit weird. I hadn't got a clue what they were going on about. "What was weird?" I asked. Well, didn't her plastic arm look a bit funny?

I met her again at a family do shortly afterwards and lo and behold she had a completely prosthetic arm with a plastic 'formerly belonged on a dummy from Burton's manequin' hand at the end of it. I'd played snooker with her and not noticed FFS! My innocent mind and raging hormones had blinded me to any imperfection.

(Incidentally, arm or none, I still would have! I've also just realised why I find the one-armed present of CBeebies particularly attractive - and her stump is not the nicest!)
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 16:34, 6 replies)

So true...
I actually laughed out loud when I read this :) In particular the bit 'I've also just realised why I find the one-armed present of CBeebies particularly attractive' - because I do too!!! I would love to watch her shag herself with said stump!
(mparryuk52, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 17:24, closed)

Ha
A mate of mine once played pool with a bloke with one arm - no prosthesis, just a missing arm - in an infamous pub in New Cross, and was soundly thrashed.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 17:35, closed)

I kinda miss being the age where if she had boobs she was hot.
(MrPlankton, Sat 30 Oct 2010, 8:51, closed)

that bit of finger on the end of her stump creeps me right out

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:40, closed)

It would
if she put it up your bottom to bring you off.
(Rsoles, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 20:31, closed)

" her stump is not the nicest"
hehe
( zacherynuk @echo off, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 18:12, closed)