My ex is an Au Pair
and is consequently now living with a family in Brisbane, however when she was living in the UK I would often go round to these 'grand' mansion type places and spend an evening with her while the owners were on an evening out..or worse..still working..which begs the question..If you are so obsessed with work in the first place, why bother having kids, if you continually have to palm them off on other people? (More often than not, they were tighter than a duck's arse with their money too! Here she was..basically doing everything, housemaid, childcare, cook, surrogate mum..and getting an attitude of.."You should be grateful to be in our home")..anyway, I shall get off my high horse now.

Well we used to use their home as a fuck pallace, (Never on the beds) and Felicity often used to walk around as naked as the day she was born, which only got me more horny and I used to fuck her seven ways from Sunday, on the sofa's, over the arms of the sofa's, on the floor, on the kitchen table..absolutely everywhere. She was insatiable..and wasn't quiet either..How the kids stayed asleep I'll never know!

The couple who owned the place, probably had the whole house rigged with cameras..they certainly had the money to do it. But tbh we really didn't care.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 2 Nov 2010, 9:25, 21 replies)

* crackle *
"Could Amorous Badger please report to QOTW. Thank you."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 9:50, closed)

This DEFINITELY happened.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:01, closed)

What - someone had some fun sex?
I reckon so.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:05, closed)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7011383
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:08, closed)

Yes - most people do.
Indeed - the human race enjoys regaling itself with fiction.

Without it, there would be no history, no cinema, no song.

Dear gods - a world without fiction doesn't bear thinking about.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:25, closed)

/talkers barely know how to have sex with themselves
never mind with anyone else.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:23, closed)

On the plus side, that does mean that none of us end up having sex with relatives.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:28, closed)

That's hardly a good reason for abstaining
the chances of inadvertantly boabying a relative are fairly small.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:36, closed)

Not that small though.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post861779
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:39, closed)

I'm vaguely aware of this tale
but didn't he know they were related before he humped her? That would not be inadvertant...
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:46, closed)

..that would be something quite different.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:51, closed)

Yes, that was deliberate incest that he doesn't even regret a little bit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:54, closed)

That's my point
The chances of accidentally shagging a relative are pretty small - unless you're from Norfolk.

If you actually knowingly shag a relative that's an entirely different set of issues right there.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:58, closed)

This is a roundabout way of saying
"nobody wants to come here to read your bragging".
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:55, closed)

Meh *shrugs* If I had made it up..I would have been slightly more creative..like we were babysitting for Bruce Forsythe..etc.
It's the only babysitting story I have. Believe it or not..I really don't give a fuck :D
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:12, closed)

Er...
I wasn't doubting the veracity. I just said no-one likes a braggart.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 17:16, closed)

Is B3ta now filled with desperate lonely old men who never get their leg over?
Anyone else suggesting they have must be a liar?
*lol rolls eyes*
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:30, closed)

oh my goodness
people WORKING when they have CHILDREN?

How horrific. Whereas you and your possibly imaginary girlfriend sound like paragons of responsibility.
(jennymnemonic, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:30, closed)

Do people not bother to read anymore? Has everything just become a quick scan?
Ex girlfriend..and yes, there were times that even I wished she was imaginary..but that's another story.

People working and having children is fine. Though to have children and not even see them for any duration, not even 5 minutes, during a day, is a sad situation indeed.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 2 Nov 2010, 13:35, closed)

My current was an Au Pair
And I agree that the type of people who get an Au Pair shouldn't really have had kids in the first place.

Her experiences were generally shitty: seriously low pay (less than £1/hour at times), impossible to complain about anything, regularly being made to feel shit, not having a life of your own, being expected to act as the parent of the child rather than simply looking after them.

I'd not recommend a year as an Au Pair to anyone - go work as you travel if you want to see the world or learn another language.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 16:32, closed)

Spot on Shippy. Cheers.
They paid her virtually fuck all, but let her use a small clio motor - which although new, wasn't a great deal as they lived about 5 miles out in the middle of nowhere, and she had to pay for petrol.. I tried to tell her they were taking advantage..*sighs* I hope she is happy now and has found better circumstances in Brisbane.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:51, closed)