Mickey and Me
I set up a date with a cute girl I met online. She lived outside of town, so before I set out to meet her, I checked my messages to see if she was delayed or anything; she didn't have a phone, so unless she sent a last-minute e-mail the only way to contact her was to show up. Instead, I found an e-mail from my dad... a long, descriptive story about how they had to put our family dog down.

Just one quick excerpt. "When the vet injected him, we could sense him just relaxing as he put his head down. We stayed with him until he was finally gone. Sad as it was, it was all very peaceful. Quiet too, as there were no other patients there until we were leaving."

Then I had to leave to go on this date. I decided against telling her, because could you imagine going on a first date with a guy, and the first thing he tells you is "Please take pity on me, because my dog just died." It seems like such a manipulative line.

The date was lacklustre, with me doing my best to keep from crying, but I couldn't muster up the spirit to make it a good date. No second date, and while she probably would have said it was an okay time but not at all memorable, to me it was the worst date I ever had.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 16:52, 4 replies)

When I had my last dog put to sleep
she shat all over the vet as she went under.

So I think deep down we all know who's the winner here, eh?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 16:55, closed)

Haha

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 17:10, closed)

The best part is the dog wasn't even ill, you just work for Tesco.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 17:15, closed)

Boom!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 19:48, closed)