It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the heart, or more specifically the female heart.
I'd met her at a party, a friend of a friend. I asked her out, she said yes because I'm pretty much irresistible to the ladieeeeees.

Anyway, we a had a few drinks, went for an Italian, then queued up at some god awful place that I'd normally avoid, but she really wanted to go, so what the fuck.

We were nearly at the front of the queue when a couple of guys behind us exchanged a few words with the bouncers. They must have called for their boss, coz a minute later a man mountain came out and joined them. He was very very fat, about seven and a half feet tall, dressed in a tent sized tee-shirt that still clung to his wobbling flesh.

When this monster's back was turned one of the guys behind me called out "Nice tits mate, but I still wouldn't want to shag yer". As the queuing crowed laughed, Jabba's retribution was swift but inaccurate. With one fearsome blow he nearly punched my head off, exploding my only recently mended nose.

As we walked to the taxi queue my date told me she found guys who couldn't 'look after themselves' a big turn off, and she was embarrassed to be seen with me all bloody and beaten. She went home, I went to casualty.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 20 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)