I had someone try to smash a pint over my head at a punk gig once.
Thing is, he smashed it forwards, meaning that during the trajectory of doing so, all his beer flew out of it, meaning that he essentially broke his glass over my head, thus I received little more than a light tap on the head, and in doing so he covered those behind (looking at him) in broken glass. It left him with no beer, and a small disc of broken glass in his hand, and me grinning broadly.

I think he then shouted "Fuck you!" at me, but I couldn't really hear him as the band were so loud.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 10:38, 2 replies)

My god, you're so manly and tough.
*swoon*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 11:01, closed)

Do you know what, I am.
But seriously - having an empty pint glass smashed over your head is hardly taking a punch from Tyson.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 11:05, closed)

So, Begbie's a puff, then?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 12:11, closed)

The moustache didn't give it away?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 12:54, closed)

You should have said "wow, that looks PANE-ful", as in a glass pane. You might have to explain how you're spelling it to him so he gets the joke though.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 12:13, closed)

Then add "No SHARD feelings mate"

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 12:17, closed)

Then say "sit down mate, you look SHATTERED"

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 12:59, closed)