I went to the Barbican to see Herbie Hancock playing with the original Headhunters lineup - WOW!!!!!
It was on a Sunday night and, completely out of character, I had smashed the shit out of it the night before and managed about an hour's sweaty kip before I had to go to this gig. It was about £30 in the days when gigs were £15.

When I got there my pal was already there, along with some prick Scottish jazzer mates, all ready for some 'really amaaaazing jaaazzz'. I was so dishevelled that they fell about laughing at my plight. But not for long.

What followed was by far and away the most tedious, awful, interminable night of my life. Imagine being locked in a room with Ringo, Username cockend, Chirpy Phantom and the rest of their ghastly band, all wired up to their gills on speed, for hours. But even more boring. Hancock's endless noodling was made all the worse by his choice of instrument, some bollocks Casio fucking keyboard that meant every tune sounded like a terrible, cheap-ass cover version. Total shit.

Being a 'serious jazz' show, we were of course seated. Inevitably I started to do that thing where you nod off and jolt back upright - these jocko jazzers found this highly amusing. OF COURSE, I HAD THE LAST LAUGH though because in the end I went fully to sleep and woke up a full 40mins later - to find the same shit tune being murdered by Herbert and his chums that was playing when I nodded off.

Christ that was bad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 14:23, 13 replies)

If only you'd added the line...

"And after the gig they all apologised to me for being shit and gave me my money back +£5"

Then this would've been the greatest QotW story EVAH!

Still, pretty good overall
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Wed 31 Jul 2013, 14:34, closed)

That was a fascinating
story Monty.

I hope you have some more like that.
(username failed moderation, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 14:36, closed)

Uh oh!!! You've turned my mockery of your shit lies back on me - so now *I'm* the one who looks foolish!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 14:42, closed)

Not at all.
I believe every word of it.
(username failed moderation, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 14:55, closed)

I was at this gig.
Thought they were fantastic.
(Headsbollockskuntz, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 16:01, closed)

You aren't Scottish are you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 16:09, closed)

That Headhunters LP is one of my all time favourites and I thought he fucking murdered it that night

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Jul 2013, 16:10, closed)

Jazz is shit.
Pretentious and masturbatory.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 9:20, closed)

no youn are

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 9:31, closed)

YM.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 9:33, closed)

you wish

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 9:48, closed)

So does she.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 10:59, closed)

Cantaloupe Island is nice though.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 10:45, closed)