Can't afford a ticket?
There's a local band whose name translates as "Iron Wolf". They are real crowd pleasers and quite a draw for our venue. We book them two or three times a year and usually sell out our 300 capacity. Their anniversary gig earlier this year was no exception. We often have to hold back the start of a gig until at least 30 people have drifted in, that night we were full less than an hour after opening our doors. The warmup band had never played live before, I don't think they expected their first ever performance to be in front of a heaving crowd of 300ish (maybe in their dreams) and they coped pretty well. Then Iron Wolf took to the stage.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a bit of a commotion at the entrance. I was a bit surprised since we were at capacity and not letting anyone else in; most of the locals know not to try it on with our doormen. 3 guys had turned up late, no tickets, and were trying to wangle their way in. Instead of the usual bullshit, however, they had brought an offering for the band. A wolf. Made of iron. Not full size, thankfully, about knee high. Must have weighed about 20 kgs. Fantastic. These guys must have spent quite a bit of time and effort putting it together. Needless to say we let them in. The iron wolf was passed up to the stage. The band were absolutely delighted. It was a fucking great gig.
The next day was a Saturday and we were out and about in the centre of town with the kids. We decided to pop in to the Culture Centre, which abuts our venue, to take a look at the Schools Marketplace where kids from the local secondary schools were selling handcrafted stuff. In the entrance lobby there was an exhibition of artwork created by local 6th form students as part of their end of year projects. This year's theme was nature and there were paintings and photographs of local beauty spots and wildlife. And some sculptures. One of the sculptures seemed to have gone missing.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 8:52, 7 replies)

Didn't actually look much like an iron wolf either.

( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 9:40, closed)

I think it's sweet that the hospital lets you have little parties.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 9:49, closed)

Something witty yet caustic about you being allowed to use the internet

( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 10:08, closed)

Oh man. Bit harsh.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 10:32, closed)

Man on the right: mouth taped shut?
2nd from right: brandishing a rubber cock?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 10:34, closed)

Turns out 'Iron Wolf'
is the local euphemism for Master of Bondage
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 11:43, closed)

*assumes the Malleable Fox position*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 12:31, closed)