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This is a question Bad Ideas

"Let's get all the fireworks and pile dog shit on top of them". I can't believe I actually said that, and I still can't believe I was the one who lit them and couldn't run away in time. Tell us about your spectacularly misjudged ideas.

Suggested by Pig Bodine

(, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 13:15)
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Repost - Wreckheads in minor misjudgement

Over the last two years I have delved in and out of a massive drugs problem (thankfully now done with). The drug in question was mephedrone which you may remember as being the subject of one of the biggest tabloid moral panics the UK has seen for quite some time. For those that don't know, the drug is somewhere between MDMA and crystal meth both in chemical structure and also in terms of the subjective effects.

As you might expect, there were many days where going to bed simply did not happen, and many occasions where good judgement went on an extended holiday, because after all, EVERYTHING is the BEST IDEA EVER.

After the drug was banned in the UK I continued using it quite prodigiously, and this story concerns a time well after it had become illegal.

I have a female friend (we'll call her R) who is somewhat eccentric, she's got dreadlocks in which she keeps interesting things she's found, such as pegs, springs, coloured bits of plastic etc. She likes finding absurdly tasteless '70s dresses and wearing them with enthusiasm, and she pretty much refuses to wear shoes.

One Saturday morning, after a Friday night on the mcat had bled through into the next day, it was decided that we should leave R's house and sit in the park in the sunshine. R decided that she would take an ornamental sword with her, because EVERYTHING is the BEST IDEA EVER. I was apprehensive enough to suggest it might not be wise, but not so apprehensive that I didn't pose like Conan the Barbarian next to a car I judged particularly manly.

So four of us wandered towards the park, R with no shoes, "individual" hair and multi-coloured clothes flapping in the breeze. My girlfriend and I took a detour to our flat, and met up with R and the other gentleman outside the Tesco convenience store. It should be noted that at this point R was sitting on the pavement with her legs stretched out halfway across the pavement, bare feet on display and the sword leant against a lamppost. Saturday morning shoppers milled around us as she explained rather too loudly how the other gentleman had successfully stolen some red wine from Tesco.

As we walked towards the park, she mentioned how the police never bother stopping her for drugs or anything because she looks so unusual that they assume she can't possibly be a miscreant.

Or so she thought.

So there we were, 10am in the middle of the park with stolen wine, some other booze, at least a gram or two of mcat on us each and a sword proudly sticking out of the ground.

Imagine my surprise when a policeman suddenly appeared, and made a lunge for the sword before grabbing it and throwing it well out of reach. Imagine my further surprise when I realised that he had several friends with him, three of whom were in full riot gear waving bloody sub-machine guns at us.

My natural response to coppers is to go into full cooperation mode, because I am fully aware that being a cocky twat results in unfavourable treatment. In this particular incident I'm also starting to brick it about the recently-illegal and very highly witch-hunted drugs in my pocket. However, this is not R's reaction. She initially started saying that we were going to do a photoshoot involving the sword, then she tried to say that it was harmless and they were wasting their time as it wasn't even sharp.

I did my best to make apologetic faces at the coppers and make a joke of it, but R kept on about her sword, despite the three MP5s pointing at her. Much to my exasperation and growing panic, she was trying to stop them taking her sword due to its sentimental value.

Eventually, and after I had said to her very loudly that there was plenty more extent of the law available if the police chose to use it, she agreed to let them take the sword in exchange for an agreement that she'd be able to pick it up later.

As I understand it you can potentially get five years for carrying a bladed weapon and fourteen years for intent to supply class B drugs (I had quite a collection at home).

So yeah, very fucking lucky that day. :-)
(, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 23:26, 8 replies)
Unless you are going to reveal that you went on to decapitate some pimps
It's disappointing dull for the effort I put in reading it. Please don't post it again without a warning.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 8:15, closed)

The best idea ever for me was to say YES! to any offer gift or sale of E acid speed coke, until I could no longer say Yes! or coordinate hand to mouth, note to nose and be a total blithering twat until I came down enough to repeat until I ran out of money/donations to the cause of duck brain frying. Do that for Friday and Saturday then spend Sunday drinking and smoking weed from 7am till pub closing. EVERY WEEKEND

Somehow during all of this I held down a Research Assistant post at Bristol University. But eventually the wheels well and truly fell of the wagon when my brain rebelled and I went completely mad for about 2 months.

Sobered up, felt normal for the 1st time in about a decade. Not touched anything since on the downside I am now a fat bastard
(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 9:54, closed)
Also, I know its not that easy to tell
But Emvee is actually male.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 10:57, closed)
Yeah? Man, that's the last time I pander him then.
(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 15:49, closed)
I can't be arsed reading this - is it worth the effort?

(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:42, closed)

(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 15:49, closed)
Am I the only one wishing they'd just gunned you all down so we wouldn't have had to read this?

(, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 15:50, closed)

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