...
In a life littered with bad ideas, relentless failure and shattered dreams, I still find time to screw up on an industrial scale.

Last year, I spent a huge portion of my time and an even larger portion of my money, building Stoke's first genuine pizza-oven. My misguided dream was based around the 'if you build it, they will come' mantra of my favourite film - Field of Dreams. Unfortunately, nobody came and nobody cared, which when I think back isn't surprising. You see, no one wants to come to a decrepit ex-council semi in the shittest part of one of the shittest towns in the country - pizza oven or not.

So now I sit here alone again, finding solace in convincing a half-dead messageboard that I am in fact a multimillionaire international consultant, who invented the mobile phone.

Sometimes though, when I look through the kitchen window, beyond the bags of festering rubbish and my collection of local supermarket trolleys, sometimes, I see a raging fire in the oven, I see people, I see wine, I see friends and I see happiness. But as quickly as the tears cloud my eyes, the vision disappears and I return brokenhearted to my awful reality.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:10, 9 replies)

u ok hun?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:17, closed)

somebody should invite him around for pizza or sutin

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 21:27, closed)

more of this kind of thing

( rofl harris, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:21, closed)

^ What Fat Margaret said.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:24, closed)

Exactly. This is the kind of sophisticated trolling that I prefer.

( rofl harris, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:31, closed)

It's all a question of marketing.
Bill it as the first "Clean Up Stoke" oven and offer to burn bags of festering rubbish, melt down supermarket trolleys and dispose of any lingering chavs.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:39, closed)

who are you and what have you done with Liemallow?
MODS!! HAK3RZ!!
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:41, closed)

First
laugh of the week.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 11:46, closed)

*Past*
hth.

*edit* "Beyond" is much better.Now you can have a click because it did amuse me.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:04, closed)

lol you said semi

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:11, closed)

This is quite funny (albeit meaningless without local knowledge).
It is also why I keep coming back each day, to lurk around the edges.
Yeah ok, QOTW is morphing into some kind of bizarre trolling clique, but I still find it entertaining.
( Ken Oath, Fri 25 Jul 2014, 14:45, closed)