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This is a question Banks

Your Ginger Fuhrer froths, "I hate my bank. Not because of debt or anything but because I hate being sold to - possibly pathologically so - and everytime I speak to them they try and sell me services. Gold cards, isas, insurance, you know the crap. It drives me insane. I ALREADY BANK WITH YOU. STOP IT. YOU MAKE ME FRIGHTED TO DO MY NORMAL BANKING. I'm angry even thinking about them."

So, tell us your banking stories of woe.

No doubt at least one of you has shagged in the vault, shat on a counter or thrown up in a cash machine. Or something

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:15)
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Let the banks work for you
when I first came to merry England to work a decade ago a mate turned me onto offshore accounts, so I set up a company and account in jersey with HSBC. I worked for several years,(including one contract for the police) and invoiced from my jersey company tax free. However, as my gains mounted, I started to get paranoid, and when Barclays offshore jersey ratted out their clients to the UK government, I took action. I set up what's called a Private Interest foundation in Panama (Luxembourg do it as well but they are far more expensive to set up). It's sort of like a trust, but there are no 'beneficial owners' that you have to declare and it's pretty bulletproof under Panamanian Law. I then transferred share ownership of my jersey company to the trust. (FYI en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panama_Private_Interest_Foundation). Both the Jersey company and the Foundation pay no tax on foreign income under their respective laws. So who is making the money. No one! I appear to work for free for the company. I can invoice people in pounds to HSBC or get cheques to jersey with a normal stamp, so it doesn't look too dodgy to clients. It costs around 1500 squid in fees per year for both company and Foundation, plus an extra two grand to set up(the hardest part was finding the cheapest fees for a 'nameplate' registered office in Jersey), so when your tax exceeds that amount it becomes worth it. And the money I invest in an online trading account www.internaxx.lu/ in Luxembourg, or use a company or private credit card to buy things.
I'm not writing to boast, just as food for thought for those who are thinking of something similar
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 0:41, 3 replies)
What do you do
to earn the kind of money that makes these shenanigans worthwhile?

Can I have a go?
(, Sun 19 Jul 2009, 2:53, closed)
My concern is...
...what happened to George Jung. Although, his actual money was held in Panama.
What would happen if Panama fell over (civil war, revolution, revocation of the specific instruments you are using, nationalisation)? How would you guarantee control over the HSBC account which theoretically has no owner?
(, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 4:29, closed)
fair play
though any investment is about acceptable risk. there is a lot of US money invested in panama, and the yanks have shown in the past that they aren't scared about protecting their interests even militarily. That and shipping are the only games panama have going, so they'd be shooting themselves in the foot. Is it more or less safe than Northern rock, for instance? Anyway, I shift most of the money to Luxembourg and other places in chunks to minimise forex costs, which can bite if you're spending US dollars in england
As for my company account, I am the signatory, The foundation owns the shares, so if it disappeared in a coup I'd still have access to the money and be able to trade. I am the named "protector" of the foundation so am authorised to act on it's behalf. There may be some issues with our accounts, though.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 0:45, closed)

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