Cash machine swallows card double horror!
Gran Canaria, 2000. I’m trying to get some cash out of a hole in the wall with my debit card, my ex looking on impatiently, and to my dismay the screen goes all funny and suddenly I can’t get my card back. I stand, stabbing buttons randomly with a look of sun-baked bafflement clouding my reddened face, wondering what the bungling fuck I’ve done and why won’t the nasty machine give me my card back? Or any money, come to that? Giving up I head back to the hotel, in order to ring Farclays and report my card as swallowed in action. A very helpful lady with a nice, soothing accent takes my details and within minutes, my card is stopped. Hurrah! And fortunately, being an organised and generally financially savvy kind of chap, I have a second current account with the Halifux, that still has enough money in it to cover the rest of the week (the Farclays account being a spare account reserved for use on holiday as it’s a bit more flexible than the Halifux card).

And the rest of the holiday ensues, strife free, until the last day when mysteriously the same thing happens with the Halifux card, this time at the machine in the hotel lobby. What are the chances, eh? I mean, seriously? Still, it’s the last day of the holiday, so not to worry – we’ll just have to make what we’ve got left last until we get home. Quick call to the bank, report card lost, job done.

Next day, having arrived back home, I trot up the street to Farclays to draw some money over the counter (what with not having a card or anything; the replacement had still not arrived). The smiling till monkey took the details, punched some numbers into her computer with years of accumulated mastery of the keyboard (and possibly that of the gusset typewriter; her fingers were a blur - it was a marvel to behold). Then she looked up and smiled at me and asked what I thought was a bit of an odd question considering I only wanted twenty quid to go and get some basics in: “Would you like an extension to your overdraft?”

Erm, what? No, Why would I want that? I never use the overdraft on that account. Helpful, smiling lady explains that the account is some £500 overdrawn and the limit is only £250, therefore I might like to extend it. I get a sudden, sick feeling and explain that the account can’t possibly be overdrawn because the card was swallowed on the second day of my holiday and I cancelled the card straight away and oh fuck I think I’d better see a personal banker…

Turned out that the card hadn’t been stopped after all and some Canary Islander had retrieved my card from the machine, having watched me type my PIN in several times, then gone on a bit of a spending spree. After about an hour of sitting at the desk, phone calls being made and transactions checked, the card is finally stopped, an apology given and all misappropriated funds refunded into the account by the end of the day. Phew. Except, the Halifux card was swallowed as well and fuck I’d better head up there just in case. A quick check of the account details show no transactions as yet, but the card has, like Farclays, not actually been stopped. They promptly do this but advise me to come back tomorrow to check. Sure enough, the next day I go into the branch and am somewhat dismayed to learn that around £1500 has just emptied itself from the account. Unlike Farclays, however, the Halifux staff are much more reticent in refunding the dosh straight away and instead I’m subjected to probing questions and semi accusations that I’m trying to pull a fast one. It was only the next day, when yet more money had gone missing and I was able to show that the transactions had taken place in Gran Canaria on the first day that I was in the branch to enquire about my account, that they conceded that something very naughty that was nothing to do with me had actually occurred. Still took them ten days to refund the best part of two grand though, the bastards.

I’m now very careful when using cashpoints and if I need to use my card, I always run my fingers along the slot first before I put it in…
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Jul 2009, 15:22, 8 replies)

"I always run my fingers along the slot first before I put it in…"
You're a decent sort, DG. Even a special line for your missus right at the end...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 15:33, closed)

Yes, he always runs his fingers along my slot before putting it in
*adopts Ulrika doing Nigella voice*

"He'd like that, wouldn't he?"
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 15:46, closed)

Useless cnuts
Ive had the same thing happen with Halifux, except it took 4 weeks to get my money back, after it was taken on payday, the fucking lot......I was not amused.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 15:54, closed)

You have to tell the banks
that you are planning you use your cards abroad of they either get refused or eaten.

An Citibank ATM in Sydney ate both my Barclays debit cards.
(planetmatt, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 16:20, closed)

Maybe now
back then it wasn't an issue and I had unwittingly fallen prey to the scam where cunts insert a device into the slot that renders the machine unable to read the card, then makes it looks like the card has been swallowed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Jul 2009, 19:00, closed)

ATM scams
That stype of trickery is known as a "Lebanese loop" for some reason Never happened to me thank christ
(swampi thought of this, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 19:47, closed)

Not happened to me since.
Not since the nice copper explained to me how they work it and how to be extra safe whilst withdrawing.

from a cashpoint, obviously
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Jul 2009, 21:07, closed)

there you go again....
deliberately getting my juices flowing with gratuitous innuendo.

*preladycums*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 1:29, closed)