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This is a question Banks

Your Ginger Fuhrer froths, "I hate my bank. Not because of debt or anything but because I hate being sold to - possibly pathologically so - and everytime I speak to them they try and sell me services. Gold cards, isas, insurance, you know the crap. It drives me insane. I ALREADY BANK WITH YOU. STOP IT. YOU MAKE ME FRIGHTED TO DO MY NORMAL BANKING. I'm angry even thinking about them."

So, tell us your banking stories of woe.

No doubt at least one of you has shagged in the vault, shat on a counter or thrown up in a cash machine. Or something

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:15)
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Abbey Win!
Forgot about this one. During trials and tribulations with Abbey, I once needed to withdraw £400 for a replacement disposable car. A fine fifteen-year-old Vauxhall Chavalier on this occasion... I digress.

I went into the bank and, knowing that the daily cash machine limit was £300, queued up. For about twenty minutes. When I got to the window, Emo cashier boy says, "oh you need to take £300 from the cash machine and then I can do the other £100."
"But I'll have to queue up again!" I protest.
"No it's fine," says Emo boy, "use that cash machine there and I'll get the £100 out, just come straight back to the window."

Fine, the machine is literally next to the counters; I get my £300 and go back.
"So," he says, counting out tennners, "that's ten, twenty, thirty..." "Actually," I say, "can I have it in twenties please?"
"Oh yes, of course," says Emo boy. He counts ten tenners back into his till... and then proceeds to count out the twenties.
"Ten, twenty, thirty..." etc.

I obviously kept my gob shut.

Two hours later, a frantic phone call from the branch manager. "Mr X5, did you withdraw some cash over the counter today?" "Why yes I certainly did, one hundred English pounds in fact."
"Right... did you happen to notice if it was ten or twenty pound notes?" "Oh no, I am afraid I didn't. is there a problem?"
"We might have given you the wrong amount, you see. Can you check the money and see how much it is?"
"Well, no I can't, as I've already handed it over to the man with the car. However, I do have a receipt which I signed and you stamped to say it was £100. So if you have UNDERpaid me, there's not much I can do is there?"
"Well, Mr X5, i'll be honest, I think we overpaid you."
"Ah yes, but in this situation, in light of my receipt, I don't suppose there's much you can do is there....."

Take that you thieving bastards
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 12:29, 5 replies)
Three cheers for Mr X Five

An uplifting read amongst the misery so far posted. Very well done, sir.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:00, closed)
I had a shitty Electron card.
I was paying some money to cover a debit, this was notes and change. twat counter monkey says you have to pay in through a machine, it's self run a/c. I can't pay change into the machine I pointed out. So I gave her the change, she paid it in, then told me I had to pay the notes into the machine. Ffs.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:10, closed)
goons. The best bit about the "we don't have change" is that if you have a business account for retail you can still order your change through them...
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:11, closed)
Every bank seems to have the emo kid who can't fucking count, bless em...

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:16, closed)
I am pleased by this
I am also pleased and amused that a chap with the username of MightyX5 actually drives an old Cavalier rather than one of those ridiculous 4x4s which his name might suggest.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 13:31, closed)

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