revenge is a dish best served with a fiscal kick to the knackers
A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away there was a young paduan who had become a slave to an evil financial behemoth. It had begun innocently enough, the chap needed a relationship with these 'lenders' in order for his credits from his toil in the salt mine to be transferred on a monthly basis. So careful was he with his coin that the lenders felt it appropriate to suggest he also take a credit card from the same company.

While time spent in the salt mines on naboo was shitty enough the paduan passed life pleasantly by smokin spice millange, drinking spacebooze and chasing a bit of spacefluff, from time to time. One fateful day however the mine was shut down with zero notice to the slaves and spacecunts within, and so after a brief period of debauchery and celebration the entire motley crew were released to seek their fortune elswhere.

Having recently become somewhat attached to fit little piece from the blasting section our man decided to fill up his pack salt and follow her to omicron persee i 9 where allegedly a plucky young buck could earn a buck... however on arriving to a land filled with sun , topless beaches , cheap booze and late bars the conditions for labour were not in his favour... so he blew his overdraft and maxed out his credit card and had a bloody good time doing it too..

So it was 10 months later that he returned to naboo to find a rather large pile of letters from the lenders demaning full repayment of both debts, and not in a 'please sir' sort of way... more of a 'fucking now cunt' sentiment was being expressed. Well our boy was only on spacedole at the time so suggested that seeing as the card and the overdraft were with the same company could we amalgamate the two loans and make a small monthly repayment until better times returned. The lenders balked and bellowed at this suggestion and continued with threats of legal action and testicle crushage for quite some time.

Twas only a matter of time however before the chap secured a job and the bobs began once again to roll in.. at which point the lenders in question began to take a civil approach and 'why yes' we can amalgamate those loans now that you have a job... we were only fucking you because you were already fucked and well dog eat dog innit' suggestith they.

Roll on a year or so and our slightly older paduan is withdrawing cash for his christmas shopping and did withdraw a 1000 zonks for pressies and merriment and went on his way. Twas only about a week later that he noticed his account seemed to be far beefier than it should have been for a new year and he checked the reciepts in his wallet. Sure enough there was the one from the bank only instead of 1000 euro withdrawal reciept, I had one for a lodgment. So that was me 2000 up on the deal. I sought some advice and was told that they would be in touch but there was little they could do and lo and behold they got the fella who gave me the money to call up to try and jog my memory as to whether it was a lodgement or a withdrawal I had made that day...

Hmmm let me see, thinketh I out loud and for quite a paused period of time... yes I remember now, twas most certainly a lodgment I made that day... "Oh that's fine Sir, just checking, have a happy new year" .... "and many happy returns yourself" I added.




moved banks just after that and have been with them for years... they are really good and understand the value of dosh... example, on one occasion, overdraft used up I needed a few pound to collect my car from the garage.... "well we don't normally, but look we won't see you stuck, there you go chief".... if they ever made a boob in my favour I would hand it over straight away... fair is fair..
(The Cats Twat, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:16, Reply)