Ha! Bar? Try distillery!
My brothers and I visited the Bushmills distillery in Northern Ireland a few years back. Bushmills and Black Bush are the best whiskeys in the world as far as I’m concerned as they are triple distilled, taste fantastic and are mostly hangover free! Anyhoo they do a guided tour around the plant where your £3.50 entrance fee entitles you to a free double at the end of tour. However at the end of the tour you come into the bar and volunteers are asked for. The task is to drink shots of whiskeys from all around the world and realise how they paled into insignificance to the sweet nectar produced on site. We were picked the first time and after agreeing that the home whiskey was the best got another free double! On exiting the establishment we noted that the next tour in appeared to be a tee-total looking women’s institute outing HOORAH! Another £3.50 later and the quickest arm drawing volunteers we were indeed again comparing whiskeys from around the world with the two doubles closely following. Wallowing and wobbling in our crapulence we decided that another trip would just clarify the distilling process and proceeded to join the next tour which happened to be a German party. Well, let’s just say the Basil Fawlty goose stepping, Excuse me Meister, sausage eating jokes and “We started it? You invaded Poland!” may have grated just a little and rightly so I suppose as the kerfuffle was quite raucous making the previous two tour guides look, compare notes and realise it was our third trip round. We were politely asked to leave and asked not to come back. No bloody hangover though!
(The Hooded Fishfinger, Mon 4 Sep 2006, 15:11, Reply)