Most convenient barring ever...
When I was at high school, we had to fill in a form stating our preferences for which sports we wanted to do. I think they had to Florida some of the forms up, as they had had the brilliant idea of running lawn bowls for the first time ever and noone wanted to be caught dead there. Naturally, as the losers who can't play anything well enough to make the school proud, a bunch of absolute rejects (myself included) got bundled into it.

One of them was the school bitch, fat, horrible and completely of the opinion that she walked on water because her equally fat, ugly mother was president of the school council and had been mayor of the shitty town at one point. After a few hours of listening to her and her friends' mutterings and jibes about me, I simply walked over, grabbed her by the shirt and refused to let go. I'm a big 'un, I am. She ended up tearing a button and some fabric from the collar to get away.

Our first session had gone terribly anyway. The teacher was actually only qualified to teach history and languages, and had given us absolutely no instructions on how to play the game, or the rules of the course. We didn't have to wear our kit as it was such a slack sport, and as a bunch of 14 yo girls had been tweaking the uniform policy and wearing semi-heels. So apparently the veterans don't take kindly to an ill-tempered stomp on their precious green after a bad shot (actually, I do feel bad about that, but I really had no idea and wasn't the only one).

End result, after one session our school was banned for perpetuity from the bowling green, and we spent the rest of the semester doing our sports sessions reading articles from the paper about bowls in a stuffy classroom, which of course quickly degenerated into the much more fun activity of sod-all. Result!
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Tue 5 Sep 2006, 23:17, Reply)