Telly Wank
I work for a company which does tech stuff and is very media friendly. A couple of people here regularly appear on TV and radio as pundits, usually at some daft hour of the morning or night, on business news programmes and so on.

One evening, a member of our HR department was at a loose end at home and decided to relive past glories by giving Polly Peanut a polish. She had the matter well in hand when she glanced up at the bedroom telly... and there was one of our finest, giving it his best and staring right at her. She was too far along to stop, so completed the task to the reassuring tones of matey chuntering on about Apple or Microsoft or Google or whatever, all the while looking like he was taking in the view approvingly.

She confessed this to her fellow HR ladies the next day, saying how weird it was having to talk to pundit boy. Somehow, the story got back to him. She doesn't know this. Everyone else does. At some point she'll realise that her home alone hero keeps dropping wank puns into the conversation while everyone else is just about keeping it together, and then she'll be rubbed up the wrong way.

There's no sign of it yet, though. The joke keeps on giving.
(NoPotPourri putting the poo into pooters since, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 13:59, 2 replies)

A winner already!
On another note, can I be the first to say:

Pics or it didn't happen.

I won't be the last to say this, nor shall this be the last time I shall say it in the week's QOTW.
(Schrodinger's Goldfish, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:07, closed)

Click.
For "giving Polly Peanut a polish".
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:42, closed)