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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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There are no women on the internet.
Only truckers called Dave.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:31, 1 reply)
This is true.
Wotcha, Dave.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 15:38, closed)
The internet
Where men pretend to be 16-year-old girls and 16-year-old girls pretend to be cats, cartoon characters and who knows what else.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 16:23, closed)
Men.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 16:26, closed)
Is that you, Dave?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 16:43, closed)
You're my Dave now...

(I helped save b3ta! Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 16:49, closed)
Alright?
a/s/l?

Me = 48/M/wherever my truck takes me.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:04, closed)
16/f/soham

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:11, closed)
PHWOAR.
See you by the school gates tomorrow, wear red.
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:36, closed)

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