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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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I have two stories
Tale one

Going back all the way to 1994. A fresh-faced me has the house to himself for a couple of hours. This of course is a golden ticket to drop my C&A jeans and grab my pink wand.

I'd discovered my dad's porn collection a few years before, but video was a whole new concept. I'd found the promised land. So, settling down for a nice meet and great with the old chap, I was watching a scene involving Ron Jeremy (no joke) and two other early 80s teens. Great scene, I love it so much I started to rewind the tape so I could time the required strokes to perfection.

However, the VHS player starts to make an odd noise....


I tried to stop the rewind. No joy.


Finally the tape stops rewinding. But not before it had ripped to shreds and dumped half of the tape into the machine itself.


I've got about an hour to get myself out of a deep, wank-free zone.

I ran to the garage, semi-erect cock deflating faster than the Hindenburg. Found a couple
of screwdrivers and opened up the video. It looked like a Tauntauns innards.

I managed to get the tape out and fix the video.

I was still left with the ruined tape though. I tried in vain (I even shed a tear in fright) to fix the tape. I only had about 5 minutes before the parents came back.

Sod it, nothing I could do, so I chucked it back in dad's cupboard and ran for my bedroom.

Cue two weeks of abject fear, before I finally managed to move on.

Many years later I mentioned it to my dad. He told me he never watched the tape as it was broken...

Tale 2 to follow
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:06, 7 replies)
This is why the internet is perhaps the best thing ever.

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:34, closed)























(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:49, closed)




(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 21:12, closed)
Betamax is what you need.

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 22:07, closed)
Betameat was what he wanted

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:12, closed)
A bit of meat was what he got

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:27, closed)
Vagabond is right
I needed xvideo or spankwire
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:45, closed)

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